'Meant to be broken

random photo of me to make the impending chunk of words seem a little less wordy.

just got back from Town + Indochine + poker @woodlands. it's been ages since i last went to a bar? cause it's just all the other usual places. nice atmosphere, even though i don't drink. hurhur.

these days i've been worrying about money. spending too much and earning too little. i need a job. pronto. duffy's expenses, not paid. the jyj money, not transferred. i really need my pay plus a new job. was thinking of supperclub with neobaby, but heard that it'll be kinda tiring?

honestly i don't really know how i feel anymore. it's just hazing through the days? but i pretty much feel fine but i'm afraid to probe deeper, afraid of what i'll find.

other times i find myself wanting to cry after hearing sad songs, but after 5 seconds that was gone too. i'm afraid of losing myself, but turns out i've never really known myself. these past two years or so, it was all about him him him him and more him. wide mixture of emotions, but none of them really for my own good.

did stupid things i'd never care to do again, some of them things i can never take back. it's all an experience, i take it as, but then again, it's these experiences that shape someone.

and so, i'm finding myself again. and i've come to realize that hey, i did have a past before him. and maybe i can learn to live a little better with myself each day, learn to be a little more independent as the days go by.

and soon, you'll be nothing but a distant memory.


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