Dreamer

 

been long since i've updated, and i feel like there's so many things to say. my blog has been like a best friend to me since way back, always being there when i feel the need to write down something or when i can't find the words to say how i feel. 

a similar need has arisen, but the words can no longer be said. does it matter, how much i want to say? does it matter, what i want to say? 

i feel like i've changed in so many ways, both good and bad. 

sometimes i find myself struggling between feeling contented and fighting to stay that way. but amongst all changes i guess i never thought i'd find myself like this once again. full of challenges in daily life, minor ones for most. juggling work, family, friends and love, i guess this is the slow yet inevitable transition into adulthood which i've been dreading for so long. 

i don't know what i want, don't know how to go about achieving anything, and yet i'm quite certain of somethings that i simply must do in order to improve upon myself. 

and yet, Rome wasn't built in a day; likewise, i cannot achieve anything big with hasty steps, but with little ones i'm quite sure i'll get there. where ever there may be.

the biggest challenge is still feeling so emotionally stifled, while voicing out how i feel. am still learning the concept of not being able to have the best of both worlds, but i feel like i'm in over my head sometimes. 

so weak, so useless.

this is just a random entry on a random night, with random words on a random site.

feels like i'm nothing, because i am nothing. not even a footprint in the world will be there to show that i've made my mark somewhere.

and yet i will try, and try. in what ever it is. i know not to give up, though sometimes i'm unclear as to what i'm fighting for.

 these words, i hold dear. not only because it's tattooed on the one man that makes this world even more so incredibly special, but also because it does hold meaning even before.   

always keep the faith. always.