talking and obsessing

"waving the white flag"

mahjong later at A's place with his campmate and Cyn. feeling super sleepy and weak after that wave of nausea last night in the cab.

fuck super weird though, almost the whole stretch of my spine area started aching like mad, then i felt like puking.

anyway, went on this sudden and random trip to D's place with A. M was there too. been quite some time, to say the least.

left after a few hours to go home to rest after.

A was pissed off at me yesterday. played that blinking game where the person who blinks first loses, and he cheated. he blew into my eyes and of course i blinked, then i've no idea why, but my hand went up and slapped his face. like some reflex action thing.

he was like quite pissed already but didn't really show cause quite funny what, then a few hours later at D's place he said something la i forgot what. then i took the strip of mentos i had and threw it at him.

normally i can't aim very well and all, but i've no idea why i was so accurate yesterday and the mentos hit his big head. LOL maybe surface area bigger that's why. yeah then he was like pissed off la.

-.- then like that lor. he said 'wo bu zhi dao ni jing tian tat tio shen me sai.'/'i don't know you stepped until what shit today' (super direct translation)

hehe

anyway, decided to just leave things as they are and see how it goes. won't take it too seriously, but i guess i won't take it too lightly either.

difficult to keep the balance, like balancing an egg on wire hung high in the air. that's how hard it is to keep it, without it falling off and going splat on the ground.

kk off to get ready.

HUAT AH! hahahahahahahaha kthxbye.


photos soon.


xoxo
can't keep my hands out
of the cookie jar.

ps: i'm sorry.

thinking things through.

it's all about the compromises, about changing for the better.
but what if i've changed into someone you cannot accept, and i don't wanna compromise?

what if i'm not ready, and you can't wait?

too many what if this, what if that.

fuck this i need a drink. bye.

sorry.

"true to your faith."

ast night was stupid. but alright in the end i guess?

solo-ed boat quay for nearly 5 hours with Jackie that grumpy idiot omg. initially the plan included more people, but i've no idea why in the end we were left with pathetic two.

(cause Cyn wanna stay at home do tutorial but in the end was watching naruto.>=() LOL

luckily Ruixiang joined after his work and yeah. it was better cause of more people and Jackie cheered up immensely.

there was this game that involves swords and this barrel and a toy pirate thingy, and you have to insert the swords into the holes in the barrel randomly and if you picky the lucky hole then the toy pirate will pop up and obviously you lose = must drink or something.

and yeah i found one sword in my bag. like wtf i wanted to steal the stirrer thing but instead i got the sword thing. -.- shall go back and return it someday.

i've that 'ohhhh i'm in deep shit' feeling. was not contactable from one last night till twelve plus noon today, and yeah. B's mad at me cause i'm out late blahblah. so shall keep my promise and go to school today!

though i feel sleepy and shitty and sick. but.i.must.prove.a.point!!!!!

okay off to get ready. i hope everything will be okay.


xoxo
trust.

this time round

"i'm taking back my love."

boring.

it feels like i haven't been out in ages. >=[ not properly, at least. short on cash as well fuck this sucks!

need a job, need a job. but no time, plus studying. needs needs needs needs needs. i think i have a 101 more needs than the Maslow needs thingy.

fucking hate my appetite too; it's like growing and growing and growing and growing and growing i swear. keep having to munch on stuff. PLUS i've been breaking out even more! and oh my God i just discovered cracks in my laptop.

GREAT!!!!!

watching 'Just My Luck' on the PiPi thingy, and i feel like Lindsay Lohan, just not as unlucky of course.

Daiso trip with Yutong! forced him to take photos and wear a red hat all around the store. plus he was the one pushing the cart. nice friend :D







me: this one very nice! but not good it breaks easily.
Yutong: was that a pun?

(talking about the red ceramic ashtray below)

get it get it? bet you don't, except for .....





from friday night, before we went to Powerhouse.





oh yeah some guys are just plain disgusting and irritating. and others just have lame pick up lines.

Cyn posted one example of that guy who tried to take her number, and this is the full version.the friend of that guy was like:

friend: hi, uh i saw you walking past and i think that you're very attractive.
me: uhhhh..... *glancing at Cyn and saw her being attacked by the other guy* okay thanks.
friend: i was thinking if i can get your number, maybe ask you out to lunch?
me: uhh....... *wtf wtf look at Cyn in that horrified expression and she was looking at me in the similar way*
Cyn: *stumbles over act drunk* Joh! i'm drunk!
me: okay okay *go hold her* *turns to guy* sorry ah i've to take care of my friend. she's drunk. bye!
friend: oh... okay i understand, maybe in a next life?
me: ah ya okay sure :D
weird guy who hit on Cyn: actually i'm sick!
weird guy who hit on Cyn: i'm love sick!

guy: you have very big eyes!
me: uhhh okay thank you?
guy: your eyes are very big and nice!
me: ahhh thank you (:
guy: i bet a lot of people told you that!
me: okay okay la. *how am i supposed to react?*
guy: you drink half i drink half *he hands me a glass*
me: sorry i'm allergic to alcohol. if i drink i will die.
guy: really meh?!
me: ya. i will die.
guy: i don't believe you.
me: i don't wanna prove it to you
guy: then you come here for what?
me: i come here to dance?
guy: then can you dance?
me: no i can't dance.

guy: eh drink this!
me: cannot la i'm allergic to alcohol. if i drink i will die.
guy: don't bluff la!
me: really really. i will die and i don't want to die.
guy: ya lor someone as cute and pretty as you cannot die. if you die i will have heartache *points to wrong side of chest*

-.- amongst others. fucking stupid!!!!!

ahh loads of drama the day after shan't dwell on it, since things are fine and well now. thank God!

i've no idea what i'm doing though, it's like taking the plunge into deep choppy water with a punctured life vest; totally stupid and unsafe.

ah okay, maybe going running with ______ this weekend, and meeting up with him tomorrow for dinner. frozen guo ties ftw!

i hope to meet up with my respective loves soon, especially K, Bc and Hb. been so long since i seen any of them, especially Bc!

and Hs and i should really do the budget nail painting thing for each other. LOL.

kk been long since such a damn long post. i wish xiaxue will update her blog already. (yes i like reading her blog, she's funny. though i don't agree with every thing she says.)

anyway, shall finish up my movie and off to bed i go.

:D

xoxo
baby steps

ps: you should take care of it well.

it's funny how something happens and you discover other stuff through that, both good and bad.

used to be one right could make all the wrong stuff go away, but now it seems like one wrong move can make all the rights fuck off and die.

or maybe it's just me, not wanting to get hurt again, thus i'm choosing not to believe, cause it just seems to be easier.

maybe i'd be missing out, but really, i can't trust hearts anymore. even mine.

no idea why i feel like crying.

don't.

so much.

i think i rely too much on my laptop and my phone. like so many other people nowadays. somehow it feels like i'm damn cut off from the rest of the world.

lol! and i thought john was playing the piano. then i was pleasantly surprised cause i was like 'eh so nice ah?!' but in the end it was just jay chou singing -.-

seems like really a lot of things have been happening. and everything is really about decisions, to go this way or the other.

how many times can one prove themselves, till it gets sick and tired, this whole cycle? things are different now, super different. in more ways than one in fact.

but, i know how sincere you are, how different you are now; even talking to my parents, coming all the way down not knowing what will happen. thank you, thank you.

it meant a lot to me, and it said a lot.

ahh i just need some time. a deal's a deal remember? <3


okay i miss cynthia ): powerhouse yesterday, and we met a lot of weird and lame guys with stupid pick up lines. omg super fucking cliche i swear, amusing though.



okay off. photos up soon (:


xoxo
love shouldn't leave.

ps: one more event to add on to what we've been through together. ily.

hate that i love you so.

i can't sleep. and it's nearing 7 in the morning.

gossip girl season 3 omg i love serena and blair and aiya everybody. shut up.

why can't i sleep.....? fuck this. FUCK. more than insomnia maybe. knn no shit again please. thanks.