too used to a good thing

"i should play my hand all cool and calm"


fggghhhh

was supposed to meet big head for breakfast but in the end it wasn't to be. -..- in a better mood now than before but still a tad grumpy about the proceedings after.

quarreled with the parents over insignificant crud, but it's over now, and we've all made up. was late and rushing to school, but luckily i was smart and i messaged karen to tell her i'm late, and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

she told me the teacher had food poisoning! wah like happy only. i hope the teacher will get well sooooon (: but i'm really happy that there's no school! (:

there's some cooking show on right now. cooking shows are nice to watch! and i enjoy that sound that the bowls make when they click on the counter top. HAHA weirdo.

oh yes. darren goh is heading to japan today! hope that the dinner plan thing will go smoothly. have no idea why i'll always get that "omg i'm so going to miss this person" when i find out that someone is leaving the country or something.

and i want to go to bangkok! to mai dong xi chi dong xi mai dong xi chi dong xi mai dong xi chi dong xi!

and.....

i think i really want to learn how to play dota. my GOD. that damned game was the source of all my frustrations last night. i really want to know what the hell is so nice about it, cause e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e is playing it. and i mean EVERYONE.

almost all the guys, at least.

horrible shit. dota is a boyfriend stealer >=[

i mean, what's so nice about running around killing others?! tried counterstrike the other day, and it scared the shit out of me, not to mention it brought me a bout of motion sickness cause of the whole swiveling around to shoot the enemies kind of actions.

i sound like such a loser. but i'm not (:

woah that cooking show is cooking up some serious shit. looks super delicious. and makes me want to learn how to cook it.

i remember telling eve "next time if i have a boyfriend i'll make bentos for him to eat" and making up my mind that i'll cook a lot of stuff for my boyfriend to eat.

so.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

big head you die.

and..... i think some days i wake up feeling all single and unattached, and yet sometimes i'm walking halfway and i go "oh my God! i'm actually attached!" -..-

okay lah no big deal but still..... it's a big thing for me kay. single for God knows how long and now.....

been a month plus and yet it seems like much longer, perhaps cause quite a lot of things happened? no idea.

had/have trust issues with myself/others/him. but i'm learning to keep it under and learn how to reassure myself most of the times, and i'm sorry if it gets out sometimes, but i'm really trying i guess.

oh well. jumble of thoughts running amok in my head, but what's new? time to go do something to my photos/blog layout.

'ta

xoxo
but i can't breathe.

ps: to _____, take care of yourself, but i doubt you'd see this anyway.