sucker for lovers

"and we'll never be truly apart"

so, met up with Bc at mall, and i was late! >< hung around, ate at Cafe Cartel and talked talked talked talked and talked some more. been more than awhile since i saw her, and i miss her lah! :D

then we went over to that idiot K's house, and stood outside for no idea how long, chatting and she didn't even want to invite us in! HAHA. but okay i shall forgive her since we're meeting up next Tuesdayyyyy! say yayyyyy. whb where are youuuuuu????? bet she's damn busy now.

gah i'm damn tired! have to clean my room and the thought of it makes me feel sick. but have to luh! else i'll have no idea where my clothes are and all. i wanna shop some moreeeeeeeee! sian haven't paid my online stuff>< still waiting for my parents to gimme my full allowance so i can pay them. gah !

i know it's damn wrong lah. but sorrrrryy! ><

hmm alright shall go pack up my room. very inspired to DIY again after going back to read fashion blogs, and i shall try to do some stuff! told my mum i want a dress form just now -..- it's so much easier lor. can do a lot of drapey stuff properly rather then just winging it.

kay off to pack up, then it's off to bed. Bb's booking out tomorrow and he said he's coming to fetch me! like first time can? he's never picked me up from school before, but i guess that's cause i've never really gone to school enough. lolllllllll.

kkay maybe i'll be back to edit later or tomorrow! (:



xoxo
perhaps it's you

ps: sunshine, you make me smile.

keeping the peace

"lean on me, you're supposed to; and i'll be here for you."

dog tired, and it's in the AMs and i'm supposed to be all tucked up and asleep by now so that i won't be late for school tomorrow, but here i am blogging and chatting with beloveds online. so so glad for the internet, cause recently i haven't been relying on my phone much, except to communicate with my dearest Bb.

well, so the class is quite interesting; contents of the lessons, and the lecturers. one of 'em practically announced that he's gay in a roundabout, in your face way. hehe

but the FML part is coming: almost all of my classmates know each other already, from that previous certificate they took, so all those little 'clique' things have already formed = NO FRIENDS FOR ME! LOL.

awwww shucks. -..- we'll see though. maybe i can get my mouth to open and interact.

met up with Mum after school, and went to Vivo. ate some japanese food that was darn yummy! and shopped around. the most exasperating thing was that the shoes i wanted weren't in my size! damn annoying lah! and the shopowner said that a girl just bought the second last pair in the store, which were in my size. fuck it i tell you.

and i swear i'm going back to fareast and get the fake pair. LOL. cannot stand it lah really. I WANT THOSE SHOES! and i want the faded grey denim wash jacket that i had my eye on at FEP. damn it not enough money!

oh yeah the 'aftermath of the first day of school' (some of the dears will know what i mean. HAHA shhhhh!) was spent at FEP. met up with Mabel and Xuanming and Darren at FEP. shopped around and i bought a pair of shoes, while M bought dresses and all. i need more shoes/bags/tops/bottoms/accessories(sp?)/dresses and all.

went for a manicure with M after dinner with Xm, while D was finishing up his tattoo. it looks really nice; the tattoo i meant. completed with a 'lamppost' -..- makes the urge for tattooing myself even stronger.

when i'm rich, when i'm rich. and the chanting in my head continues.

meeting up with Bc on Thursday i think? most hopefully! haven't seen her since April 19th = Huibing's birthday! (Weewee's birthday too!) and we've been saying we'll meet up since forever.

and Bb's booking out on friday! and then maybe finally we'll be able to spend more time together. haven't really been talking much lately, save for a few messages and phone call every night to just talk about what happened during the day and all. but i've to save more money, since we're pretty much a very broke couple. ><

oh yes! and karaoke with Shiqi and Eve next week to celebrate Shiqi's belated birthday! been ageeeeeees since i saw Shiqi lah! and we haven't been contacting for damn long too!and to think last time it would be meeting her almost every week with Eve! like what she said, a lot of things to fill me up about, and vice-versa, so hopefully we'll be able to catch up then! anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR I LOVE YOUUUU!

alright, a million movies i want to catch (alright maybe not a million), but no time/money = ))))):

and! i want to change phone leh! blackberry/iphone where are youuuuuuuuuu! i just want a nice phone that i can bling plus got wifi and all one! ))))): but it's so freaking ex!

kay i think it's bed time. else i won't be able to wake up in time tomorrow! though classes are at 3 in the afternoon..... i don't doubt my ability to oversleep and be late. LOL.

and! BINGHUI AND I HAVE AN ETERNAL FRIENDSHIP THAT'S SEALED BY CHOCOLATE COVERED DONUT HOLES WITH SILVER SUGAR PIXIE DUST! (he rejected the cherry diamonds -..- picky!)

oh yeah a few photos to post up too! of that meetup with Bec and Cyn, and Huishan's birthday! (once again shall steal from her Fb! HAHA)

so..... those who are interested, keep watch on this space! (:


goodnight dearies!


xoxo
with all of your love.

ps: baby i miss you.

out of your element

"fast forward to us"

aisjdahfjnajdnidafknadi.

dum dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

SCHOOL TOMORROW!! nervous like some kind of............. AHHHHHH! screams wildly and runs about with hands in the air.

so nervousssssssss! though i've no idea of what i'm being nervous about. but yeah. FIRST DAY! -..- HAHA.

just gonna wear some any old how shirt and shorts, not comb my hair, not put on any makeup, not brush my teeth.....

ya rightttttt. been telling Bb how nervous i am, and he was like 'you're just going there for school, blahblah.....' but it's still very important okay! i mean, first impressions and all that shit.

i remember back before i started poly, ahhhhh. and thinking i'd have no friends. thank God i left poly knowing darlings like Cyn and Bec! pretty good for only about half a semesters worth of attendance huh?

but..... ughhhhh. i hate those kind of new awkward situations thingy. horrible ley.....! very nervous lor. jia you youuuuuu! JYJY!!!!!HAHA. damn i'm babbling. . . . . .

alright shall be back to edit about events later; am on the phone with Bec now.

xoxo
he'll be worth it.

cause when you're in a good mood, the whole world sings with you

"kicking back those heels"

tadahhhhhhh, can't believe i'm three days away from starting school again! after a 'sabbatical' of..... about a year? give or take the wasting my time not attending my former school part. ><

and i saw the clock at 11:11! someone misses me......~~~~~~~~~

meeting Bec tomorrow at twelve, and Cyn later on for lunch. Hope the money comes through in time! gonna do my brows first and foremost! damn horrible.

and transformers on Saturday with Bb and the rest, haven't seen Mabel for a long time, it seems.

got to do my brows my brows my brows my brows my brows!!!!! been wanting to do 'em since for-ever, (okay, not so much) but yeahhhhhhhhhhhh, didn't. so tomorrow's the day! I-DON'T-CARE.

okay, so online shopping say hurray! mumsie's been a dear and she's so nice as to give me a little to go shopping with! absolutely loveeeeee shopping! hate hate hate hate hate being flat broke though, so i've got to save up!

and i wanna bring Bb to nice places to eat since he's been spending on me through foods and stuff though he hasn't got much this month. tsk, the both of us can spend money like water! and it can't go on any further.

alright, shall go look at stuffs then go maple and bathe, then off to rest already.

Bb's coming out in one days time! suddenly i feel very excited to see him, anddddddd..... i miss you babyyyyyyyyy!

okay shut up. alright photos up soon. (Did i mention i lost the memory card for my digital cam damn it lor i don't dare tell my parents plus i don't know where the hell it is, and i've changed back my phone already, so lesser pictures maybe.)

kay goodnight worldddddd!



xoxo
to what's to come,
to what we'll hold

ps: i luvvvvvv youuuuuuu!

the sweetest silence in your eyes

"your fingertips across my skin"
supposed to be reading up on some reading material my dad gave me for my course. and it's mother-fuckingly thick and horrible with fine print. killing my eyes, and it's making me sleepy to-the-maxxxxxxxxx, and my hand is aching cause i'm making notes along with it.

i really hope that i'll be able to cope with everything; it seems like such a taxing/demanding course, study study and more study. hate that part, studying, scribbling endless notes, struggling to keep my eyelids up, fighting the temptation to just crash on my bed/ find other entertainment.

one good thing about going back to studying is the allowance i'll be able to get. high and dry these few months, okay not exactly so, but it's hard to manage without an exact amount coming in. took too much for granted, loved those few months where i had my pay; queen of the worlddddddd! i felt.

guess money does really make the world spin, a huge part of mine at least, and i'll bet yours too.

another good thing is the excuse to get more clothes! added up the total amount of everything i want to buy that i saw online, and it totalled up to approximately $509.

wonder if i'll ever get the $$$$$ to get it. sucks luh.

i wanna be rich i wanna be rich i wanna be rich i wanna be rich i wanna be rich..... uh duh.....? who doesn't?

alright, so maybe meeting up with Bec on Thursday, hopefully. and meeting Bb tomorrow for his hospital checkup, then maybe hopping over to Sebas's place for some chit-chat after.

i dread the 29th..... !!!!1!!1!!!!! gosh don't know what to wear, what to bring; i'll probably forget to bring stationary; the essentials. blablah. and hiding in a corner like some loner. f()ck, starting all-over-again. okay at least it's better then nothing; and i want change, i guess, it's just the very thing i'm afraid of too. don't humans always?

ick, and i just realized that "Psychology 3rd Edition" has become a mini table upon which my laptop has come to rest. -..-

darn tired, so i guess i'll go get my shut-eye. Bb'll throw a fit if i show up late again. but i can't help it lah! and even he conceded that 'good things are worth waiting for', totally taking a leave from my book when he said that to his mum or something.

i want my items..... ))))): i want to shop, i want money. and i think Bb just sighed when he heard that i want to spend money. can't help it la. after i clear debts, then i confirm go splurge already.

tsk.

kay off i go. ima be a rich person! sheng sheng sheng, mama zhui bang!

and i just realized my music was on at full blast, think there's something wrong with my brain/ears; i have a damn good ability at tuning out things.


xoxo
i'll hold you up sugar.

ps: cause sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad; ................ in my head till further notice.

edited:

i'm not going to trust anything that you say. (:

thinking of that very last ________ xx

"so what are you, what are you, shades of blue black and grey."





contemplative mood, and once again i find myself in an absurd place at a time where i could be sleeping or something.><>

and it's 3.13am, and i'm supposed to play for another 2 and a half or so hours. GAHHHHH! oh well.

so how was my day spent? with Bb at his place, till late and dinner with his family at plaza. i'm amazed by my appetite! ate a whole moutain of rice today, and the guy asked me "na ge ji ge ren chi de?" (asking how many people will eat what i ordered). and i said "yi ge!" (one [me]). and he gave me an unsure look, and said 'ni chi de wan ma?' (can you finish it?)

B's mum gave a "o.O" look when i sat down with the plate. and she expressed some 'wahhhhness' when i finished it -..-

so yeahhhhhhhh..........

needa pee kinda badly, but i'm afraid to! did i mention the movie after at Amk Hub with Darren, Mabel, Roy and Wendy? oh ya don't think so. we watched 'Drag Me to Hell' wha i think i only watched around 1/4 of the movie.

d4mn scary! okay maybe not, but it's full of those sudden outbursts, and gruesome faces and lots of gory details. spent the movie burying my head into B's shoulder. could feel him suddenly cua-sai-ing and jumping up, or getting startled.

oh yeah and i think the director might be a little hard of hearing, cause the sound effects ARE SUPER LOUD. like reallllllyyyyy loud. -..-

hmmmmm. and lately i've been thinking, about friends and stuff. and i thank God for that auto-mechanism thing that makes me edge away from that person if he/she's not very nice. and i don't take in good friends so easily anymore.

i don't know why eh, but that's just how i've become. though the ones that are dear are stillllll dear. no matter what, and how circumstances go.

guess it's just me that's grown more wary, still keeping a distance, so i won't fall unless i want to.

makes sense, no?

cause sometimes it's really mixed, the vibes i get. think what you want, i won't say anything more on this space.

anyway, i really need to pee, but the lanshop's toilet has a 99% probability of being fucking dirty. ( i mean HELLO?! i think i'm the only female here and guys can pee standing up, and most of the time, NOT-VERY-ACCURATELY.!) and stupid A doesn't wanna go with me to the petrol stations, and i'm too much of a coward to go there alone. one of the worst places to go to after a scary movie can!

i keep staring at the toilet longinglyyyyyyyyyy. oh gosh.

shall attempt to peek in it. and shall end this blog post. !

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDY DEAREST! I LUV YOUUUU MUCH, THOUGH WE'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ))))):

and Happy 8months Bb!

xoxo

what you really want, odds are you can't have.

we are what it is, we are what we make it

"love, no ?"

so, i went and did it again.

feel like deleting my blog, sudden urge, random thought. there's nothing to blog about anymore, cause after all, what's on this space are just my thoughts, and these days the words just sound ten times better when in my head. no sense when it's out and said.

quarreled, again.

and thank God for darling Cyn and Bec. though Bec made me tear up because of her message. i luvvvvvvvvvvvv you 22222 lots.

and somehow i'm just sitting here wondering about those possibilities, i know it can go either way, i mean, if i want to let it slip away, it'll just go through my fingers, and it's a brand new day.

i was thoughtless, selfish, like i always am. maybe cause i've always thought about how important he was, thought about how i never seemed to be.

and somehow i've missed what he was trying to say all along.

i miss you.

even though we've seen each other every day since, i miss you.

even though i'm going to meet you later, i miss you.




cause i dont know what i want, and what's right for me anymore.



xo,
love, maybe i didn't in the first place.