it seems like i'm apologizing more and more these days than most; letting down more and more people whom i do love.
it's hard to pick up the pieces, hard to put them back together again, after all the times i've just stood there and let everything fall apart and just haphazardly piecing them together again.
i need help, not judgment. but somehow it's too selfish of me to expect people not to; judge, that is.
i did what i had to, i really did. i'm not proud of it, but what else could i do? i couldn't stand aside and not do anything, i couldn't.
and i'm sorry for that. regarding this matter, i do know what i am doing, and i do hope that i will have the strength to walk away from it all if this continues to sink.
there are a lot of things i have to think long and hard about, regarding what i want to do with my life especially. frankly speaking i'm at a loss.
wish we were back in secondary school. things were easier, brighter, less complicated then. at least i know where i was going.
so much i want to say, too much.
honesty, honestly.
x
edited: (taken from Esther's)
( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
(x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe
( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party for a friend
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you
In 2009 I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) went behind your parents back
(x) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
(x) almost died
(x) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up til sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
(x) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
(x) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
(x) had a fist fight with the wall
( ) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people
i like doing quizzes like that. ahahaha thanks Esther. :D oh yeah i realized i didn't lose anything this whole year! like zai or what? except for my pouch thingy on my birthday, but that's not counted cause i got it back!
kk ttfn.
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