'ooh whatcha say, ooh that you only meant well?'
it's only been a week or so (lesser?), since i promised A that i won't go clubbing ever again without his permission.
fucking lame only! fucked up when i have to choose like that.
am complaining about it to Huishan, cause MTV's playing the usual kind of songs that will be played, and it's making me feel totally..... itchy for partying.
can feel it snapping slowly. and i'm the kind of person who'll feel like doing it even more when i'm not allowed to do a certain thing. the irritating kind of person who'll insist on doing the opposite, 'just because i can'. okay, not till that extent, but still.
i understand why he'll be concerned, but seriously, loads of people go partying, and nothing's ever happened. sure yeah there are people of the opposite gender there (duh), but it's not like i let myself get grinded nor let myself get touched all over.
there's always a choice, like saying no when someone tries to get fresh, or walking away when there are attempts to dance intimately.
A says that people who go to club are disgusting and desperate and he said that he felt very sick at thoughts of me going to club. yes, there are people who go there to chat up with the opposite sex, but frankly speaking there are a lot of others who go there just to have a good time. (like me).
what's wrong with dancing with my girls and enjoying myself? and it's not like he doesn't know that i don't dance with guys (unless they're super cute/i don't have a choice) since we've went together before.
if he reads this, he'll think that i'm very unhappy and unwilling to promise him that. it's not that i'm unwilling, it's just that i'm not that willing either. LOL. does that even make sense?
to fuck with 'i'll give you your freedom'. i don't even drink eh. no matter how many people ask me to, or even if there are shitloads of alcohol. i know my limit is fucking low, so i don't drink. most only a few cups that's super light and that's it. responsible okay?
sucks when people doubt my ability to take care of myself. i take care of others too okay. just ask my friends.
oh ya speaking of alcohol. i hate it when i see drunk girls. like the ones who drink too fast, too much and end up slumped somewhere totally unconscious. it's damn sick and i hate being near them. you never know when they're going to go all Merlion-like and barf their whole days worth of food out. ick much?
plus it's f disgusting to see guys who swoop in at such moments and kinda take advantage of them, on the pretext of 'taking care of them'. i mean come on la. we all know that it's not out of the goodness of your heart that you're hugging that girl so closely to yourself 'to keep her from falling'. not pointing anyone out in particular, but i'm just saying.
i think it's really scenes like that make me feel very disheartened for those ladies. loss of dignity, extreme humiliation, and it can't be that hygenic either to be covered in your own puke. i mean, there's nothing wrong with drinking, but know your limit and don't go over that. sprawling on the floor half dead from the alcohol never does make anyone look attractive.
okay, i know i'm talking as if i've never had my own accidents, never puked, never felt so exhausted that i simply felt that i had to sleep at that very moment and just sat down there to rest. but i swear i take care of myself.
okay actually i guess i'm just jealous, cause it seems like my youth is ending right now. no more partying. fml.
it's not as if i depend on it a lot or what, it's just that during those moments it's really like you don't have to give a shit as to what goes on outside and you can just enjoy and get lost in the fucking-loud-it-makes-your-eardrums-throb-for-minutes-on-end-after music.
aiya okay pointless post; just needed to rant. who gives a damn anyway.
x
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