Friday, January 7, 2011

is it possible to be happy and yet so miserable at the same time?

and i know it's for the best but it's not making it any easier, this process of trying to let go. so many memories, little ones, big ones, happy ones, sad ones. i remember them all.

wonder if you think of me, wonder if you've moved on, wonder why it ended like it did, wonder when i'll stop thinking of you, wonder when i'll stop trying to catch glimpses of you in other guys, wonder when i can say that i don't love you anymore and mean it.

its so tough. i just wanna run back to you and beg plead cry and try any other way to get us back. wanted to pick up the phone to text/call you but i stopped myself.

remembered what you said to me. remembered what you posted on your facebook. so big and clear. obviously i mean nothing.

head hurts, should be studying for my exam but i can't stop the waterworks. always the wrong fucking timing.

wanted to console myself saying 'he won't forget you so easily', 'he will think of you one la', etc. but there's always that little voice in my head saying 'you know he won't'

always knew you better than i knew myself.

goodnight, whereever you are.

K told me, i'll only really be over him when i see him with another girl, but i'm so afraid of what will happen to myself if i do. seeing him hold another girls hand calling her whatever smiling bcause of her.

fuck i'm pathetic.

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