taking us back

"cause i've reached the end of my tether; the straw that broke the camel's back."

made use of the free time during Maple patch to do some editing and blogging.

still at Liangjie's, and the others are holdem'ing.

thinking of..... but yeah. sometimes you're really able to see the importance of yourself when it comes down to it, or perhaps it takes nothing at all, and it was staring at you right in the face, but just..... you refuse to take accept it, and now you've to make a decision, if you're still going to go along with it.

or perhaps sometimes it's too much, to be taken too lightly, too much. and when that person you're dealing with is the person that wields power over your heart, you find yourself powerless yet again.

fuck it yet again, still.

dad cut off my phone line again. sick of it. again with the expectations, i just wanna fucking enjoy myself, before the 29th. couldn't control myself and out a 'fuck!' came before i hung up on him.

filial piece of shit i am huh.

just making use of this space to rant, to say the things he'll never see, to let out the things i'll never tell him, cause it's just too difficult. my heart ain't indestructible. i swear.

and i don't think being nice pays off at all. sometimes, or rather most of the time, it seems like putting yourself all out there just ends up with a consequence of..... some not very good things.

hah.

alright just leave it. nothing to be done for now. 20th..... survival rate? HA.

photos:

some random day at Plaza.





some random shot.



K-garden the other day.





they just love it



him, especially.







star of the night, meet my bff!





Mingkang testing out his new career.



this super nice taxi driver named 'Eetong', after the mahjong tile. (owner of the cab Mingkang attempted to drive. he took us around the carpark, when we couldn't decide where to go; seven sitter, eleven/twelve people. how?! and he was like 'ohhhh! zhou looooo!' and proceeded to drive around the carpark. then Liangjie pretended to hail the cab from the other side, then he slowed down and 'ehhh zhe me qiao ah?!" or something like that. HA nice luh, and they even went to smoke together.



alright, end of photos, more in my phone. shall post some other time.


xoxo
to much to run from, nowhere to hide.

ps: i can't feel anything anymore. perhaps. but it's the weary heart that shields itself time and time again.

it's the way you swagger/in your eyes.

"sometimes it's just what you are, stopping us from being who we really are."


at Liangjie's place, and there's that deja-vu feeling, reminiscent (sp?) of that 11 days 'chalet' last year. nice days man. (not to mention the thing about runny noses and non-stop sneezes.)

so, been stuck on maple, level 70 courtesy of Guorui and August with vac and God mode. ha .

A's p-o-p on Saturday, with his family at Changi Naval Base. Fucking tiring and sweaty affair, but well kinda worth it. like finally, huh.

been arguing and making up, but yeah mostly it was me getting annoyed/pissed then blabla. but yeah. just plain don't like some stuff luh. damn annoying. f()ck.





_l_ bu xi huan. really.


i mean why you wanna do something that's obviously way out of your limit? and if you don't have the means to do it, then jolly well don't do it. it's really not very nice when you have to go short in your life because of a stupid 'past time', in fact it's damn fucking irritating, straight up.

and if you think i'm talking about you, then i most probably am, huh. and it's damn annoying when i say that that's gonna happen, and you tell me it won't. and it just.happens. again. again. again. again. again. just. aiya sickening.


d4mnnnnnnn! HA.

was singing HSM songs with Darren. been long since i've spent any time with him. like decently. aw. story of my life huh.

and he just leaned over to see it and i jerked the laptop away HA. you should tag if you'll 'read it anyway' asshole. -..-

anyway, starting school on the 29th. like finally (: kay back to Maple.



xoxo
cause we have a love/hate relationship.

ps: but i love you anyway.

what doubts you'd have.

"strings attached are such a pain."

such a pain indeed, but i'm not even supposed to feel this way. cause i know i'm in a relationship and thus, shouldn't be out gallivanting around with other people at the middle of the night as and when i please, but damn it, the saggitarian in me acting up real bad.

i mean, i just want to have fun; like before. be it pubbing, clubbing, stayovers, hanging around with different people, spending time with friends, meeting new people. blahblahblahblahblah. somehow i feel so d4mned restricted, but this is what comes with a r/s, i understand that.

told him once, 'perhaps it's cause i'm more of the type who's meant to be single.' i really just wanna enjoy my life, to the fullest. the max times ten. but i know it's terribly unfair to want Bb to let me do the things i want, because it's not possible that i'll feel even the least bit comfortable with him in these kind of places, without me. not comfortable at all.

ah don't know what's the point. and people keep saying i think too much, but it seems like nobody gets the point that i don't think a lot on purpose, and it just flashes to my mind without any prior notice whatsoever?????? sumpaaaaaa i don't sit down and think like "hmmm..... xxxxxxx"and all. it just comes like that.

oh meet my lovely Bb, aint he handsome? :D LOL



my right eye hurts m-fuckingly bad right now. no feel to blog already. bye bye.



xoxo
heartbeat.

ps:no matter what, darling.

talk about something that isn't dead

"when i love you a little less than before."

broken strings keep playing in my head. gah!

so, drama at Kgarden, again. i guess that's what you get when you put humans, alcohol, and a whole shit load of emotions together. nearly every time, there'll be something stupid going on, and it's totally exasperating, but hey, what's life without a little drama right?

anyway, have been mapling these few days! and Darren chiong-ed ahead of us all. d4mn! HA.

and maple is really a game full of super xialan people; the mere thought of it makes me quite irritated. like helllo, having a higher level doesn't give you a right to go around ks-ing people like wtf?! super annoying. and maplers like to say 'I CAME HERE FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!' and refuse to move or cc. RAH.

what the fuck i tell you. damn annoying. and i keep falling asleep, like literally. lying on my bed, and staring at the screen, then slowly..... well, it's fun anyway, yup!

hungry hungry. and i really feel like watching a movieeeeeeeeeeee! haven't watched one in the longest while. didn't go on the trips to watch 'Night at the Museum 2' and 'MvA' ): to do with money issues and Bb not going, and so the guilt factor.

alright so..... at least there's some tuition job every Saturday and Wednesday, starting this Sat, and stupid me scheduled a job right on the day of his P-o-p thing. no wonder something was nagging at me at the back of my mind. >< so yeah gotta rush from where ever that place is to my tuition thingy in Serangoon. -..- gah.

kay off to shower and meet Bb. seriously he doesn't seem to be under confinement. -..- what with weekends out and mc's and doctor appointments.....

alright byeeeee!



(photos up soon. .. ?!?!)



xoxo
before it's too late

ps: i don't want it to be all we ever talk about.

never say never again

"my hero and my king; anna says"


well, that didn't make any sense at all. haha!

so, photos up really soon, as soon as i can get myself off Maple. Yes, that's right. Maple. after God-knows-how-many-years, i'm turning back to Maple, thanks to Bb, and its the highest level i've been to yet! normally i'll just give up after a few hours, and that concludes my maple career, but noooo. thanks to him i've been peservering -..-

so, these few days he's managed to come out, and i think i'm faling sick. cause he has that semi-sick feeling and kind of a blocked nose, and for some reason we always manage to pass the virus to each other. so yeah kind of feel horrible now.

anyway, i've got to get my biological clock right back on track. it's really taking a toll on my body.

kay, so meet up with Bb, then went to eat some nice food, and then we met up with the rest at plaza at night, and it was to Aldrin's for some holdem again..... (crazzzzzyyy people. i think they're holdem-ing at least 3 times a week sometimes) after that B had to report back to camp, but he was still sick, so we went to CGH, where some fucked up officer asked him to report back, even when he has an MC. GAH.

wastage of time, he headed back, and i headed to Sebas's place since i had an interview thingy near his place. but well..... fatigue had the best of me, and yeah ended up K.O-ing, and rescheduling the interview till monday.

went for dinner with Sebas and Sam, and Sam is super annoying. as usual. in the end i just kind of tuned out. and he says i'm the only one who takes his nonsense all the time. -..- non blood related of course, cause he says that i'll give him a reply every single time. hyeah well i'm polite what! don't know how his girlfriend can stand him!

B then came to fetch me and i went over to his place for awhile to wait for him to get ready, then cabbed home. omgosh lah i think i really prefer staying home nowadays >< style="font-style: italic;">xoxo
way before the originals

ps:and it's something you'll never get! i miss talking to you.

deception

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
5:56 PM May 18th from mobile web

- Lindsay Lohan (twitter).

you become wiser after getting screwed by everything around you. love her!

whatever it takes

"baby i'm your biggest fan"

damnnnnn. the weather is m-fuckingly hot, and a fan simply can't suffice. however, some conscience thing is weighing down on me since i've switched on the air-conditioning for the past few days. damn hot luh! but yeah shan't switch it on shall act like a very eviromentally considerate person. -..-

sebas came over for some project of his, and i'm basically going to help him do his project and all. HA though he's gonna find all the information. so yeah find it a waste of my intelligence by me not studying. laughs see what an arrogant person i am? HAHA no luh kidding, but i miss letting my brains work properly feel mentally stifled sometimes.

and..... it was damn funny. people were saying something like, 'better not let A know, later he get angry' (regarding sebas coming over) then i was like listening, and proudly saying, 'he already know luh' blabla.

yay ice cream in the middle of the night. damn fattening i know, but it's been so long since i ate icecream! though its all melted and all, but yum.

kay off to watch the hana yuri dango final episode = the movie????? -..-

feel like hopping back into my Korean world. wonder how Bb react. did tell him that, and he was like "what about me?" in some ))))): kind of a way. -..-


kaythxbyeeeee! meet up with dear friends soon, me like.

btw, supposed to help sebas do but instead i'm over here slacking.HAHA!



(:


xoxo
i miss you dear, i miss you dearly.

ps: you make me smile. a lot.



edited:

Johanna says (2:13 AM):
*rah1RHJSHDNA
*jnjadkj????
*adnujabfv/
*jabfnoujaf???????
*!!!
*khfieoa!
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*safdasafdsaf?
*adsad??!!
*)
*=)
*gdsosfjds...
Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*jdiuanbsf!
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*and jhdasdpkd..?

Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*:DDDDD
*hfneoanbfq
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*LOL
Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*! jahnfuehjnfkje - mfjhjef
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*adasdasdaafuh/
Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*sims language
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*dhokgdywbcim...
Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*afnuh;;;;;pkaef
*mmmmdhajjja.... !
DARREN, you are my strength when i was weak, my voice when i couldnt speak. says (2:14 AM):
*xsadfo'oe02-974nffghj
*=)
Johanna says (2:14 AM):
*#*U@)$ jdanfkkkndia,msmkl
*:(


D and i have the most intelligent conversations sometimes.