lol.lol.lol.lol.lol.

ya. lol. ya lol. ya lol. ya lol. ya lol.

no idea what the fuck i'm typing, but somehow it's in sync with my thoughts, in an extremely abstracted way.

in a mess, but what's new.

do it like that Colbie Calliat song and go singing 'i think i've fallen for you."

fuck this.

"doesn't change anything, sorry."

random photos.

from lantern hunting

from FEP. didn't lose them after all.

maybe i don't want the truth anymore. after all i've always been comfortable with self delusion. maybe i should start lying, if that's what makes everyone happier.

i'd want the power to control everything around me, just so things could be perfect. but in a perfect world, things mightn't fall into place the way i want it to be, cause it'd be perfect for everybody, and not just me. so wouldn't it be better if things were perfect?

what would you choose: to be able to control what happens around you, or for a perfect world?

i lied. i lied. but i guess that will make everything easier.

am i a super inhuman bitch to not want to be the one who gets hurt? or am i just being human. cause everybody has to get hurt, no matter how things turn out.

i'm safe in my thoughts. i'm happier away from reality. i want to sleep forever just so i'd be able to stay in my dreams where it's perfect.

there's a phrase that goes 'strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, and a boyfriend stabs you in the heart.' so true, so true.

i want to move on, but i'm afraid to. i don't think my heart will ever work the same way. not when it's been broken so many times in so many different ways. i think i'll always be afraid from now on. i don't think i'll be able to trust anyone with my heart again.

or maybe i just need to meet the right guy, and he needs the right instructions.

i don't know what i'm doing. i think my ears only want to hear what i want to hear. and yet i don't want anyone to lie to me.

cb i'm such a troublesome human.

great found another bruise.

xoxo

i'm a liar.

i need explanations, and not an apology.

i need to be worth that little bit, at least.

i need you to give me that closure. but will you?

with everything i have

my heart feels so broken that i don't think that it's beating right anymore.

i need a hug badly.


but the very person i need is the very one i can't have.
and maybe i can't make it on my own after all.

distractions

movie tomorrow w John. i wonder if it'll fail again. I.WANNA.CLUB.LA. damn.

and i accidentally deleted photos with Hs from FEP. okay only two la. but like cute only. -.-



i'm so going back for that thing with the gingko nuts. nice!!!!!





see my good skills



and karen's lousy one.





like lousy only! so blurred.

i really want a new phone. and a lot of things amongst others.

feeling exhausted plus i think i'm sick. damn urgghhhh-ish! ): i wanna eat though. campbell soup in chicken or mushroom flavor please!..... ):

super hungry. and sleepy. someone save me please!

mum got pissed off at everyone in the family except for me. now that i'm really thinking about it, i realize that that's actually a first. cause normally she's not angry at anyone, EXCEPT for me.

-.- it was about some smoking thing..... and i think she's angry at dad cause i think that she thinks that he's being a bad influence.

i'm really effing hungry.

grumbles*



xoxo
you don't stand a chance

through the eyes of my best friends

uploaded from K's. (yesterday at Mall, while waiting for Bec)

going out with her again later to get her tauhuay from town i guess?

omg i am so bored. i wanna watch a movie!!!!! oh ya and i wanna club tomorrow.

something bad is gonna happen. but i don't know what and it's making me uneasy. really uneasy.

fuck this.


xoxo

ps: for once i feel..... free. like how i was almost one whole year before. and i love this feeling, swear! though it's not like i completely lost feelings for ______, i just..... moved on. guess i outgrew being head over heels in love or something, and i feel so damn proud of myself. [;


edited:

the lenses Mum ordered for me from freshlook aren't big enough or something, cause my pupils are clearly visible through the whatever. okay wasted. luckily i still have spare freshkon ones, but i want brown ones!!!!! instead of my grey ones. ): okay i'm damn late. byebye

fuck this i think i'm falling sick. and i swear it's thanks to _________, cause i was fine yesterday.

long days these days. tired like some kind of.....

today was FEP with Huishan for mani/pedi = $10 only!!!!!!!!!!! then met up with John at Hougang, then with Karen for dinner, then Bec for her Mac. (rhymes!!!!!)

yesterday was..... i forgot.

clubbing on Saturday? cyyyyyynnnnn.....!

just wanna rest though; exhausted through and through. sneezing all through out. omg.


kay bye.


xoxo
i got over you.

ps: it really did it in, and i find. yeah i'm happier now. [: hating you has never been easier.