Dreamer

"doesn't change anything, sorry."

random photos.

from lantern hunting

from FEP. didn't lose them after all.

maybe i don't want the truth anymore. after all i've always been comfortable with self delusion. maybe i should start lying, if that's what makes everyone happier.

i'd want the power to control everything around me, just so things could be perfect. but in a perfect world, things mightn't fall into place the way i want it to be, cause it'd be perfect for everybody, and not just me. so wouldn't it be better if things were perfect?

what would you choose: to be able to control what happens around you, or for a perfect world?

i lied. i lied. but i guess that will make everything easier.

am i a super inhuman bitch to not want to be the one who gets hurt? or am i just being human. cause everybody has to get hurt, no matter how things turn out.

i'm safe in my thoughts. i'm happier away from reality. i want to sleep forever just so i'd be able to stay in my dreams where it's perfect.

there's a phrase that goes 'strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, and a boyfriend stabs you in the heart.' so true, so true.

i want to move on, but i'm afraid to. i don't think my heart will ever work the same way. not when it's been broken so many times in so many different ways. i think i'll always be afraid from now on. i don't think i'll be able to trust anyone with my heart again.

or maybe i just need to meet the right guy, and he needs the right instructions.

i don't know what i'm doing. i think my ears only want to hear what i want to hear. and yet i don't want anyone to lie to me.

cb i'm such a troublesome human.

great found another bruise.

xoxo

i'm a liar.