backtrack

at this very moment, duffy is sitting on my lap and enjoying the breeze of the fan that's faced in his direction. he's such a cutie pie yknow like the way he just looks at you.....

and i've concluded that he's not really ultra-intelligent? he just has really expressive eyes. HAHA tho it always amazes me how he seems to know when he's in trouble, even if there's no prior sign of anger or whatsoever, like raised voice or angry looking face etc. he'll just know and scramble under the sofa or run away to a safe distance.

alright i think everyone's dog will do this. i'm just being a sappy owner. haha!

okay so i finally uploaded photos from when we went to phoenix.

gonna go p-p-p-p-party tonight, but sigh my hair..... really hope a miracle will happen. like seriously.

alright off!


xoxo

'Amongst others

feels like it has been quite a while since i updated this space properly. been reluctant to really post up much photos except for the webcam ones, considering that i didn't have a proper camera then. (technically i still don't now considering it's my mom's but.....)

so well, nothing much really happened, except that i'm trying to keep with the new years resolutions i made, although my attempts are quite unsuccessful.

went over to Sebas's place for the most of this weekend, though it was to Le Bar/Pheonix on friday with Darren, Huishan and the rest.

photos from Sebas's gathering! cause he kept bugging me to upload the photos.

reached home on Monday night, and didn't even realize that it was already monday. -.- slept the whole of it away! and during the moments i woke up i kept finding out that people were missing, like shaun and egg went home, then sebas left for work and left me at his place with sam. hur that place is like my other home. (Y)

the whole of 14-15-16-17 th of January 2011 pretty much went great! met up with friends i haven't seen in a long time, and met new friends! (Y) + (Y) double thumbs up. 

hopefully this year will go smoothly and be a damn productive year! 

oh btw apparently i'm an Ophiuchus and not a Saggitarian anymore. no idea how i feel about that since i think i'm really quite like a Saggitarian but i don't believe in the whole 'it only applies to people born after 2008/2009' thing. i mean if its in the zodiac then it's in the zodiac right? 

maybe i'll just pretend it doesn't exist. like how i'm gonna be 18 forever! HAHA. 

oh well. kay, got to get some shut eye. shit balls my days are like nights now. 

xoxo

ps: i wanna watch Burlesque! 

is it possible to be happy and yet so miserable at the same time?

and i know it's for the best but it's not making it any easier, this process of trying to let go. so many memories, little ones, big ones, happy ones, sad ones. i remember them all.

wonder if you think of me, wonder if you've moved on, wonder why it ended like it did, wonder when i'll stop thinking of you, wonder when i'll stop trying to catch glimpses of you in other guys, wonder when i can say that i don't love you anymore and mean it.

its so tough. i just wanna run back to you and beg plead cry and try any other way to get us back. wanted to pick up the phone to text/call you but i stopped myself.

remembered what you said to me. remembered what you posted on your facebook. so big and clear. obviously i mean nothing.

head hurts, should be studying for my exam but i can't stop the waterworks. always the wrong fucking timing.

wanted to console myself saying 'he won't forget you so easily', 'he will think of you one la', etc. but there's always that little voice in my head saying 'you know he won't'

always knew you better than i knew myself.

goodnight, whereever you are.

K told me, i'll only really be over him when i see him with another girl, but i'm so afraid of what will happen to myself if i do. seeing him hold another girls hand calling her whatever smiling bcause of her.

fuck i'm pathetic.

Resolutions

happy new year people! i hope that 2011 will be so much better than the last year and that the years after will be even better! for people who have had a shitty 2010, don't blame the year! blame the people that made it shitty for you. hahahahaha cause i always thought it was unfair to blame the year/day/month etc, when it's not really any fault of theirs. and YES  i'm not weird cause i refered to them as they or whatsoever. heh

okay so i'm gonna start doing something that Cyn's being doing for a few years now: start a new years resolution thingy (yes, i'm so jumping on the bandwagon here. though i suck at jumping). gonna put some up here, and some private.

• Keep a healthy diet/lifestyle + Exercise
• Be more decisive 
• Have an actual amount of savings
• Be the best i can be to the people around me 
• Instill Discipline in myself
• Be punctual
• Finish my unfinished business with Cyn  (LOL) 
• Swear off guys

yes, i meant the last one. no, i'm not turning lesbian, but i guess i'm just not..... ready for anything else? noticed a trend in rebound relationships and i really don't wanna become like that? it's kinda exciting really, embracing this feeling like i'm really alone now. hmm. must be how a baby feels after it gets cut off the umbilical cord? don't know how i'll survive but i'm sure i'll do fine. there are many many weak moments when i just..... break and there will be many more to come but there's nothing i can do? so ima take it like a man. it's scary though. real scary, and i miss him like you wouldn't believe, but yeah. that's all there is to it.

my 'Keep a healthy diet/lifestyle + exercise' one was because i'm getting so..... jiggly it's not funny. soon i'll be the beanbag that @beanbaghunter and @zyrants hunts. which is not good. plus i made daddy promise me we'll keep a healthy lifestyle so hopefully we can both lose some weight the healthy way! no more junk food late at night etc etc. though i'm going to meet Bec soon @R.plaza soon HAHA

The rest are pretty self-explanatory, like having savings cause it's always good to save for a rainy day plus not spend on unneeded stuff, being more decisive cause i'm one of the worst decision makers EVER. offer me a choice and i'll usually be stuck on it for ages, or leave others to decide for me when i really can't decide. Be the best i can be to people around me because i realize that sometimes i'm really not the best person to be around? like in the mornings when i'm grumpy or whenever, i'll resolve to be nicer and less grumpy and anything that is covered inside the whole thing there. Have to instill discipline cause i suck at being disciplined and all the consequences are coming back to haunt me. Ew. so yeah, have to be disciplined. Be punctual cause i'm always late and that's really a horrible habit. though i still believe that good things are worth waiting for, it's not really that nice to keep people waiting.

speaking of which, i think Bec's heading over. shall stick to my New Years Resolution and NOT.BE.LATE.

hehe toodles!


xoxo