oh manz that ctrl+f5 thing really saved my life! okayy maybe not saved my life, but it spared me A LOT of hassle. wait, spared? -.- kay my brain isn't working again.....

so, exams the week after next. oh God, save me! haven't studied for anything, and luckily there's Iza to go to for questions though i think she's pretty lost herself. didn't think i'd have a friend in class without going for class! hahahahaha. yayyyy luv luv God. (:

anyway..... been nua-ing for the whole weekend, basically sleep > wake up > computer > eat > sleep > computer > ..... rinse and repeat as instructed. Dad got really mad cause he says i'm addicted to the computer.

study break starting from tomorrow, and so I.HAVE.TO.STUDY. anyone?????

okay, John just called and i think it's mahjong time tomorrow..... should i bring

ooh 11:11! make a wish people! kay done. heheee.

okay anyway, as i was saying, i've no idea if i should bring no name along. lolszzz.

alright, i think this will be quite a long post, cause i've the urge to post up stuff that i want! (in no particular order.....)

• shoes!
  

Marni


Jimmy Choo


Miu Miu


okay many many more but... laziness has got the better of me.

• LONG HAIR

last one = my faveeeee. always wanted to have those long ponytails just yknow some casual look. HAHA. damn it why'd i have to go snip it off when i was pri 4?? i think. hmmz. and short hair all the way OMG.

• BAGS

ah okay enough. no money plus no more mood to continue this post. fucking annoying humans i swear.

stop acting like a three year old and expect me to keep up with you. who the hell are you anywayyyyyyy I DONT KNOW YOU WELL OKAY, don't gimme your tantrums and expect me to soothe your anger. fuck ?!?!?!?! i'm not that kind of girl in the first place so don't give me those expectations and don't get mad when i laugh in your face for acting that way. reallyyyyyyy.....

anyway, going off.


maybe back to edit. bye


xoxo
putting it all aside.

ps: byebye.



edited :

oh yeah i wanna write this here for SAM!!!!! hi idiot, take care when you're in camp! don't be emo shit cause you're going in. and find a clean helmet!!!!! HAHAHAHA. i think you should treat me to another k session when you come out :DDDDDD kidding lah take care ahh! plus don't anyhow pee now 7th month careful! hahaha bbyeeee.

cynthia; says (4:34 AM):
*hes not thinking abt you
Johanna says (4:34 AM):
*yeah i know.
cynthia; says (4:34 AM):
*why are you worrying for him?
*i mean its okay to la but its been w=quite long
*and
*Dont look him up if you really wanna get over him
Johanna says (4:34 AM):
*yknow, i never wanted to.
cynthia; says (4:35 AM):
*i know but its not you only
Johanna says (4:35 AM):
*i know.
cynthia; says (4:35 AM):
*looking at the situation now really dont look him up
Johanna says (4:35 AM):
*he wants me to too.
cynthia; says (4:35 AM):
*i know you miss him
*urghh
*LOL
Johanna says (4:35 AM):
*lol continue (:
cynthia; says (4:36 AM):
*just dont look him up la ...
*think about how every1 will look at you
*do you really wanna let pppl think of you as a super clingy desperate cant get over keep on looking august up
Johanna says (4:37 AM):
*sucks to be me but if that's what it takes then yes
*but i know that chances are it wont
cynthia; says (4:37 AM):
*he obviously moved on already
*it will be all these
*and no results dear
Johanna says (4:37 AM):
*i mean it wont work
*yeah
cynthia; says (4:37 AM):
*worth it?
*yea so dont look him up
*you can miss him think abt him
*but dont look him up
cynthia; says (4:38 AM):
*it'll only tempt you to wanna try to get back
*when he doesnt care
cynthia; says (4:39 AM):
*but one day you'll wake up and you finally feel like you can move on to another person


i need the harshest words, to just break that will, to stop it whole.
heart, why'd you got to be so persistent? why'd you insist on loving someone who obviously doesn't appreciate it.

truthfully i even envy couples who can quarrel, cause it means that at least they still have something. and i feel so fucked up.

tell me, who else can appreciate you like i do? take every single bit of you and just accept you for you, shit and all.

but it's been so long, too long. i need someone who can appreciate me the way i did to you. the one who would accept me without me having to change the slightest bit. the one who would mean it when they say they trust me cause they love me and not just give me words.

fuck why am i still harping on this?! b.o.r.i.n.g.

what i meant to say was: fuck this, fuck everything. i'm never gonna fall in love again. especially with you. _l_

oh yeah, and 'love is like a string and a kite. the kite will always tug a bit further on the string, wanting to fly a little higher, annoyed at how the string seems to be always pulling it down and restricting it to the ground. however, what it doesn't know is that the string is the only thing keeping it from facing the full force of the wind, and keeping it from spiraling out of control and crashing face first into the ground.'

from someone's blog i saw just now, consider it reblogged.



bbye.

walls

for those few seconds....

it's scary how your heart became this vulnerable, to that single person.
even scarier if he doesn't really care how it falls, how it shatters with the slightest nudge.

toughen up, toughen up. show him how much it doesn't hurt; everything.
though it does, like you wouldn't believe.

laugh at me then. i'm a pathetic loser/joke.




ps: i miss you so so much. /////////// that's rain.

<3 that's my heart.

<\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\3 that's it broken.

<+++++++++++++3 and that's me trying to heal my heart with little bandaids.

exhausted.

wasn't as fun as i'd thought it'd be; legal in three months, can't.wait.man.

on another note, i think i've had enough of people who fake their sincerity. i mean..... just save it luh, what're you trying to prove?

Clarkequay > _____'s place > breakfast with Juncheng and Zhi Hao > Joey's place > Kovan with her for breakfast again > Home > maybe meeting Binghui later?

oh yeah found out some stuff; extremely shocking for me, but i guess to others it might come as no surprise. i think i'm really too naive cause i believed _____, stood up for _____ even. felt like calling you up and telling you about ______, like i've always did. but i find that i really can't trust who you are.

effing tired. back to sleep!

pssst: i wanna club tomorrow.



xoxo
what happens,
it's for a reason.

ps: i'm weighing the options, the pros and cons, and the consequences. it'll mean nothing for you, but for me it's starting the shit all over again. but still, we all know what i'm gonna choose.

edited:

HAHA couldn't resist it's damn funny! Twilight on FB!

so yesterday it was meeting up with K at Hougang Mall; i did a manicure at that bloody Nail Palace place. heard that it sucked but i really wanna go do my nails and there's no other place cause the one near cheers was fully booked already..... then now it's cui. -.-

then it was dinner at Plaza. thank you K, for coming down to keep me company though you would have preferred sleeping at home ><

reached home and Jc asked if i wanted to play mahjong..... so it was off to Roy's place. blabla, i lost six bucks! l:( found it quite hard to win, both today and yesterday. cards came in but just couldn't. -.- nvmmmmz hurrr.

idk how to get out of the house later. shouldn't have went for mahjong. now i really don't know how to get out of the house to go club. damnnnnnnn. plus haven't thought of what to wear, and the time of the month is hereeeeee....... SO BU FANG BIAN WTFH.

and.....

what.......? wo hen pa.

gah. kay bye.


xoxo

hairbearcaremarehareeeeeeee

i need money!

back in 2008:





i luvvvvvvvvvv long hair. thus i went to get extensions. my hair has remained the same length for a mf-ing long time. >:[ if there's such thing as penis envy, then is there something like hair envy? -..-

i want long hairrrrrrrrrrrr. and i think i'm gonna get my color back. what a fucking waste of money,
but i'm seriously sick of this dark color though i still want that KS's chocolate brown hair.

so what say, PB&J color again? going laterzzzzz, okay actually in an hours time crosses fingers* for luck; please let my hair turn out well..... ><

gonna redye my hair.

Bec came over to help me do it, but i don't think i'm gonna ever attempt diy-ing my hair again; color didn't come out plus i think my hair got darker.

gonna call up some home-based salon in Tampines to do my hair later on. hope it turns out well, cause i totally don't feel good about my hair now. ):

and Joey is totally gonna say i do too much to my hair. been dying and redying it over and over again since two years ago. maybe on average three months once? or maybe not so much but i know i dyed my hair many times.

kinda feel like going back to the lighter shade plus highlights, but i feel so fucked up with my fringe.....

urggggggggggggg. sucks >:[ i need a change!

can't wait for thursday.



xoxo