holding it close

"Some things in Life are too Precious to hold."

back from R.plaza/Kovan slacking with Binghui, we must have walked a million miles today.

R.plaza for random Mac > Superbowl for pool > indian stall for Bh's prata > Treasure hunt around Kovan > Midnight Curry for me > Home.

talked a lot, about his stuff, about mine. and i suddenly realized that maybe, just maybe. i'm over him. lol! love him still, though. but over the whole thing. idk if i really am though, or it's just a sudden feeling.

anyway, Sebas called halfway > Boatquay with Damian and Kerwin, but since Bh didn't want to, we didn't after all. Sebas knows me too well, with the 'you tell me confirm later means don't have already lah!',cause i realized i forgot to call him back around two hours later.

oh and he's on msn now and he says that he's damn drunk, and that it's a good thing i didn't go.

٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ♥Sebas. says (7:46 AM):
*one
*fuck and throw

*aaaaaahhh
*i love you mei
*alot
*<#33


and i'll probably regret this, but i shall post this here, and make him happy.

Johanna says (7:47 AM):
*ah i love you too <3


(:


m'sia maybe, if my parents don't suddenly tell me we're not going.


kay goodnight for a bit. photos up soon. realized i have quite few in my phone. alrighttttt


xoxo
blank.

ps: the L word i'll still use. and you're one of them. imy and i don't.

somethings we don't talk about/ rather do without

i'd give anything, almost anything to get what we had back. but it takes two hands to clap, and two hearts to be willing.

if he isn't, no matter how much i do won't turn back anything, won't change things in the littlest bit. if his heart doesn't feel that way anymore, there isn't anything i can do. no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much i wish things were otherwise.

part and parcel of relationships at this age i guess. pretty much of it amounts all to nothing, save for those few precious ones who do make something out of their relationship.

and although i didn't expect us to last as long as we did, though to many it doesn't seem like it's much. but still, nine months filled with ups and downs, changes for the good and for the bad, growing up, and many many memories.

and i know that i'll still remember everything, or remember what i can, at least.

cause i'm sentimental like that.



xoxo

ps: and i'll remember you. (: more than who you were, and more for what you meant to me,
cause you did mean almost the world.

don't lie to me

thought things over.

been in a good mood, and it's kind of unsettling, since i thought i'd be in that 'depressed' mood longer than i thought i would be, but somehow i'm not.

wow, my recovery skills are better then/than i thought they were!

and somehow i feel like i've changed? like my thinking is different in some ways, or maybe i'm just not really caring as much. -..- i really don't know. shall wait and see about what my heart tells me, or rather, lets me feel.

and i feel so fucking ridiculous and pathetic when i think about ..... omg lah wtfh?! like what made me think that and what made me actually type that down..... >< wish i could take it back somehow.

oh ya! and like i don't even have that urge to see him though i know he's out and about now. okay though i bet he doesn't want to see me. oh well lol!

maybe i've really changed. hmmmm. food for thought hahahahahaha damn i'm high. and to think i was crying to sleep a few nights before, hope this good mood keeps up!

anyway, feeling quite sleepy, so shall head off to bed; huge shopping trip tomorrow over the causeway, so..... yeahhhhhhhh cool.


goodnight lovers.


XOXO
like you'll never see me again

ps: still, somehow.

stomachache,cramps the whole entire time, like kill me alreadyyyyy. ))))):

tomorrow's gonna be a fun day. (:

and i keep receiving spam! it's damn annoying luhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i've no idea why, cause supposedly it shouldn't really bother me.
oh yeah new playlist up, listen to the songs! especially the ones by Kate Voegele. though there are only 4 songs -..-

i feel so silly thinking back about stuff i did/said and all. made a fool out of myself, by thinking way too much, and at that point of time i didn't think i thought a lot. -..-

browsed through a lot of photos too, and somehow i can hear those laughter and memories when they were taken; like at SICC, or Kgarden, or at the movies, or slacking around, or at different places, with girlfriends and all. i think i've a good memory actually, it's just that i need reminders to help me remember that i do remember those memories -..- although sometimes in past few years someone mentions something and i'm like 'oh really? i don't remember at all leh!'

-..-

and i think it's stupid when someone tells me something and i go 'rly?' when DUH obviously it's real. -..- but i do it anyway, so people if you're reading this, remember that you don't have to actually go 'ya' or re-affirm that whatever you're telling me is true.

okay, so it seems like i have a lot to say, but i don't actually know what to say -..- i mean not in the blog of course, about other stuff. but i'm rambling on and on and on. again.

and i've been using a lot of this face -..-

stomach is killing me. can't believe it's a friday night and i don't feel like going out. hmm some progress made i guess?

kaythxbye



xoxo


ps:i don't understand.

Forever and Almost Always

"Forever And Almost Always"

So the story goes on down
The less traveled road
It's a variation on
The one I was told
And although it's not the same
It's awful close, yeah

In an ordinary fairy tale land
There's a promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine having just short of that
Is better than nothing

So you'll be mine
Forever and almost always
And I'll be fine
Just love me when you can
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up every day
Just hoping that you still care

In the corner of my mind I know too well
Oh that surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving
I just put the issue to bed
And outta my head

Oh and just when I believe
You've changed for good
Well you go and prove me wrong
Just like I knew you would

When I run out of second chances
You give me that look
And you're off the hook

Because you're mine
Forever and almost always
And I'm fine
Just love me when you can
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up every day
Just hoping that you still care

Oh, what am I still doing here?
Oh, it's all becoming so clear

You'll be mine
Forever and almost always
It ain't right to just love me when you can
Oh I won't wait patiently
Or wake up everyday
Just hoping that you'll still care

Forever and almost always
No it ain't right
To just love me when you can, baby
Ain't gonna wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care


apt?

God i feel so pathetic.

but hey, four nights down, and a hell lot more to go. i'll get through this, some way or the other.

but God, i miss him.

and i can't deny i do wake up wondering if he does still care or not, can't always be wondering, though i still am, every single day. somehow it's wearing me down, but i've got to build it back up right?

though it's getting easier pushing the thoughts back. i guess i'm just adapting the best i can, one way.

not ready for anything else, and i'm getting over him the old fashioned way; bit by bit till all of it slowly fades away.

shall concentrate on other things, and just.not.think.about.it.

and maybe someday, hopefully soon, i'll be able to just see him and not feel anything, and we'll be able to just be friends, the way we were, without me wishing with all my heart that it's otherwise.

school tomorrow, can't be late again.

goodnight.



xoxo
one step at a time.

ps: i will get over you. i will. till then, i miss you dearest. goodnight.

likewise

to club or not to club, that is the question.

AHGAHGAHGAHGAHGAHGAH.

like no mood to club, but want to club at the same time, then ccb lao niang not 18 yet no id, actually have lah,
but scared don't look like then can't get in = a total waste of time.

damnnnnnnnnnnnn. sleepless nights too = might as well spend it doing something fun right?

fuck lah i hate this. ):

i wanna club, but lazy to get my ass up, thoughts of guys turning me offffff, but loud music and alcohol = makes it worth it

how ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ?! cynthianeoooooo.bs .com.......... ))))):

whines *

and i'm kinda sleepy too. wtfuckkkkkkkk?!

like ever since TBU (go figure) i haven't really felt like doing anything, just lazing around and sleeping/not sleeping, and random moodswings, ranging from 'ah fuck i don't need him' to 'i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him))))):' to 'i wanna enjoy myself!' to 'no energy to enjoy lahhhhh'

and i hate sleepless nights. ):

meeting Jerold for lunch tomorrow in school, hopefully.

Lord, please save me): thank You.




xoxo
making the choices easier

ps: i don't know wtfuck i'm doing. ):

insomnia, and i think mum is going to yell at me for not taking out my lenses.

didn't have anything to do, so switched on the tvee, and martha stewart was on! it's nice lo, don't say i'm aunty or what. anyway, there was this craft idea thingy, to make glove animals out of gloves(duh!) and since i can't sleep, i'm going to make 'em!

a dog and a bunny! so cute rightttttttt. shall start making it now. but i only found two gloves, but one's kind of those olive green. sounds yucky, but shall try anyway. hehe shall decide which color for which and have to find some cotton to stuff it with! (:

and yeah following the tutorial and it looks relatively easy, so shall start on it now, but the thing is i'm afraid my gloves are too small.

shall post results up here. (:

kaythxbye.