if hearts could speak

headache headache headache headache headache.

back from breakfast, and i'm in Sebas's room while they're outside playing mahjong. should sleep but can't, why's my alchohol tolerance so damnnnnnn low?! and i know i called him just now, while i was half dead. wth was i doing manszx?! leave it leave it. the other party doesn't give a damn either, yknow. leave it leave it.

feel half drunk still, and all i wanna do is curl up into a ball with the comforter and try to get some shut eye, but God, can't close my eyes without .....

think i'm just avoiding stuff, somehow.

avoiding Hougang, avoiding this, avoiding that.

when Mum and Dad sent me to Sebas's place, they drove past A's place. and idk why but tears just made their way down like nobodies business. such a loser eh, and i was damn afraid they'll put me down there for some reason. not to mention the way they kept digging at that whole relationship issue.

Dad asked, 'are you going to meet him? are you guys going to get back together?' and fuck all i could say was 'WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY OKAY? WE'RE DONE ALREADY LAH?!' fuck.

wish that day when i could feel better would hurry come. feel so turned off some guys now,i swear. just shut up with your crap lah okay, i'm not ready for anything don't force me. though i feel like such an ass for being like how i am now.

this sucks ballszxzxzxzxzxzx. get out of my heart, you.

and what sucks the most is that he probably doesn't give a damn about me anymore. no more. no more. and gone are the days where it's 'i want nobody nobody but you!', and was doing massages, and i suddenly thought of the time we went for the foot massage together around Joel's place, and we met this fortune teller and blah.

okay shut up, can give me some thing to forget? please? i don't want to remember already. i take back all that bullshit about me reminsicing (sp?) when i'm old. i don't want my memories already.

maybe i'll set a new record of 43 panadols. hehe no that's not a threat. just some random thought. hahahahaha since apparently 42 also won't die.

-..-

i don't think i'm watching 'Up' anymore. didn't want to catch it with anyone but him.


ah shut up bitch stop your sob fest and get over him already. no big deal aye, and i've finally rediscovered my single life hehe kinda enjoying it but still, i do miss his presence in my life.


kay g2g. mahjong time, and my tiles were super good today! haha not super good luh, but really not bad. think what they say about falling out of love and having better luck at gambling is true. wonder how he did in poker though. ><



kay.


xoxo
if my heart had a voice

ps: forget me not, i miss you?????