it's still so hard getting up the courage, and knowing that my pride is already wasted and i've nothing left to offer.
am i still trying/wishing/hoping for the best because i'm too dependent or because i really do love him? maybe it's both, with a little of 'i'm afraid of extreme change'.
been contemplating the whole damn day; to call or not. tossed two of my lucky 5cent coins and i still haven't made up my mind. it's good that i'm holding back, but i want to tell him how i feel. problem is, does he care enough to really want to listen?
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