synchronization

okay it's scary how someone else's life seems to be going in sync with my own. Cyn should know what i mean.....?

even with all the lose control parts, and the fucked up over other people getting fucked up parts.

okay, so Bugis with the Twins and their friends > Fortune Tellers Place with _____ > Kovan with Binghui, Carson and Edwin > Carson's place till morning > R.Plaza for breakfast > Home.

the first thing he told me when i sat down, was 'You have trouble sleeping at night right?' and i was like O.O 'How you know?! Saw my eyebags ah.' -..-

and he said i always wake up during the night, and can't really sleep for long etc, etc. which is totally true, look at all the timings on my blog posts for evidence!

so yeah, am supposed to get something blessed by the Church so that i can sleep easily? cause supposedly i'm more prone to..... yeah. but i really hope i can sleep properly luh. i think last night at Carson's was the first time i could sleep so well; like totally dreamless sleep all the way, or rather dreams i can't really remember, totally uninterrupted.

cause normally my dreams will be damn vivid and be about stuff going on in my life or some weird stuff blabla though nothing unpleasant, and i'll wake up feeling very tired and like i haven't really slept or worse wake up with a headache. sucks i need pills but no one else is willing to get them for me.

oh yeah and he took a look at my palms and said my love life ain't very good for now cause it looks very messy. think he couldn't comment much about it, but he said that i'm still young, and my r/s will consist of many quarrels blabla. and he said that my heart is in a mess too, and confused; said i've to know what/who my heart really wants? loose interpretation. oh and he said my temper isn't good and that i'm petty.

HAHA okay i think i AM petty in some ways, but i hardly get angry, like really really angry, unless it's concerning A? but yeah i think i'm petty when it comes to basic human behavior blahblah.....

kinda broke down yesterday at Kovan. i really don't know what's my point in doing anything yknow. i mean in regards to ______. i know i'm supposed to be moving in another direction but i just keep going back.....

and i say the most pathetic sounding things to him, like 'i miss you'. yeah what's the point? but it makes the world of a difference, to me at least.

okay shall stop blabbering and catch some zzzzzs. tired, plus have to make a trip down to MDIS later. and fuck it la, my msn isn't working again!


xoxo
cause when i'm with him,
i am thinking of you.

ps: you don't know how fucked up and shitty it feels to be me right now, simply because you couldn't care less about me anymore. i wish you knew how it felt like for a day, so maybe you could appreciate me a little more.