NYE.

A new year is gonna be ringing in in a few hours time. probably like 11 hours or something. my math is still as bad as the years before this.

i guess my year has been pretty uneventful? at least i can't remember much significant stuff that happened.

studies - still the same? LOL stuck in that whole..... fucked up thing tho things are slowly improving. trying to get the hang of that whole discipline thing and getting my priorities straight. met some pretty awesome people in my new class this year and i love them to bits. hehe

family - pretty much still the same, tho i'm on better terms with my parents nowadays? things were pretty fucked in the past cause i totally disregarded them and kept staying out blablablablabla. i've learnt to account to them about my whereabouts and schedule, and they're quite okay with it when i say i'm gonna head to a club or go 'drinking' (since i don't/can't drink) tho they still add the whole 'don't come back too late, better be careful' etc kinda thing. but all things considered i think i've learnt that they'll be there for me no matter what. like my sisters, who called me yesterday when they were just outside my door cause apparently they heard me crying and offered me hugs and words like 'don't cry already la. if you have one dollar for every tear you've shed you'd be rich by now' and needless to say i've really grown to appreciate all the care and love they heap onto me by the truckload. not that i didn't before, i just do more than ever now. hahahahaha

friends - made some new ones, grew closer to the ones i already had. had more quarrels with some of them more than usual but i guess that's just a process of growing closer? really thankful for how i keep meeting really good people who become really good friends. and how the old ones just keep getting better every time. hahahahaha sounds like a beer ad. i love you guys! been there for me every single time i felt down or unhappy, and making sure i'm alright, that i'm not alone, listening to all my shit etc. thank each and every one of you so so much. and i'm sorry if i'm an ass sometimes. (SOMETIMES) hehe i know you guys will still love me rightttttttt? blinks*

love life - it's like the same as the previous two years. things are at a standstill now and i've no idea where to go from here. i used to think that things could get better, but we've seemed to reach an impasse, neither sides willing to back down from where we stand. it's not easy saying goodbye and i wish i don't have to. really really don't, but everything's so unsure, we're just hanging precariously. even so, i've realized this year that if he wants to put his mind to it to really treat me good, he can. but that's something that should come from within and not a decision? at least that's how it is for me. i screwed things up by doing things rashly but maybe it's all for the best? i don't know. very very confused about this and it's so frustrating. in the new year i hope things will be different, for the best.

me - this year i've learnt that i actually get scared? of growing up, of responsibilities, of commitments. i shy away and i avoid. i've learnt that i'm actually more screwed than i already am, but i'm trying to figure things all out. learnt that there ARE consequences no matter how much you run away from them and they'll just slowly sneak up onto you. learnt that sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to no matter how tough it is. haven't learnt how to let go, nor conquer my fear of saying goodbye. not yet. realized i don't know myself.

okay fuck duffy just chewed on my chouchou till the cotton came out ): immediately started crying. fuck so symbolic.

don't feel like blogging already bye

baby you've got me bad.

Christmas

it's nearing christmas, and i don't feel a tinge of christmas spirit and all. it's a pity, cause christmas is one of my favourite holidays. i love christmas trees, twinkly lights and sparkly decorations all over and the 'spirit of giving' yeah, i like that the most.

i wish christmas hasn't become so commercialized. i wish everyone i love could just gather together and we'd have one of the best christmases ever.

when i was younger, the christmas tree would be set up, and there'd be actual gifts below it on the floor which we'd open excitedly on boxing day. nowadays its more..... cost and time effecient.

i wish christmas would be really great this year.


xoxo

ps: i recieved my first christmas present in one of the sweetest ways ever. thank you, you if you're reading this. even though i've already thanked you before. :D

so, school is 'over'. we're currently on the last study break we have before exams come and we have to hand in our graduating project. i really will miss school, even though its killer to have to wake up 'early' and be on time. 'training' for discipline actually, i never really had that kind of training. thank God for people like Denise and Yongwen, who woke me up every single day and made sure i got to school on time and even coming to school on days they feel like skipping. heh i love you guys!

felt like posting up photos, but i really don't feel like it now. >< okay i shall come back to edit soon. heh.

x

Frozen

 

so that's it folks, i'm officially, forever 18. there will be only 18 candles on my birthday cakes from now on. HAHA i'm not in denial. i just don't want to face the truth. 

i'm wondering what you're doing, i'm wondering how you are. i'm wondering who you're talking to i'm wondering if you're okay. i'm wondering if you think of me, i'm wondering if you miss me. i'm wondering about so many things, and it's only been one day since we spoke.

partying and my friends aren't more important. but they represent my freedom. what else will i have if you decide to leave me? who else can i rely on?

i can't be 30 and left unsatisfied with my youth. i just can't. but that means leaving you, and that's something i can't deal with either.

freedom is everything a woman should have, but with it comes the possibility of loneliness.

Dosh&Puffy

oh my God my entire blog post is gone. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

i hate hate hate hate hate it when this happens.BLOGGER WHY YOU LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!extremely sad. ):

forget it. i shall try to rewrite, tho since i'm totally half-hearted in writing this, it wouldn't be as good as the original post.

okay, so Duffy has a facebook page now!

Duffy Teo's Facebook Page

my sisters created it for him. wanted to do the same, but was too lazy to do it so they got around to doing it first. add him! he needs more friends. like doggie friends. hehe

so, the other day Denise, Yongwen and i brought Posh and Duffy (Dosh&Puffy) out to ECP! Weipeng was supposed to turn up, but apparently he set his alarm wrongly and overslept (riiiiiiiight. hahahahaha kidding!) okay, so the three of us went (i was late cause i got locked IN the house. -.- seriously) and the two dogs were so cute together! got a lot of attention from by standers cause they were so damn cute and cause they were really mismatched? (black&white factor.)

headed to Subway for our lunch and it started raining. BOOOOO. rainy days are good, but it's such a chore when you're out, especially when you're with pets.

it's a good thing that Duff really behaves himself in cabs. like he doesn't move around much, nor make noise. he once vomited in a cab tho. i blame the driver. his driving made ME want to barf. saw Duffy heaving and quickly aimed the nearest 'container' i could find, into his face. and he promptly puked into his new carrier.

f gross i swear. from then on i made it a point to carry plastic bags around whenever i bring him out. my bags are always extra extra heavy, considering my normal bag is always stuffed to the brim with stuff i bring 'in case'. add the stuff for Duff (hahahahaha rhyme!) (i.e, treats, newspaper,waterbottle, booties, leash, food, plastic bag.....)  and my back nearly always feels like breaking.

photos! (some are from random times with Posh at Denise's place, ECP, and when i was at my house void deck with Bec.) 

gonna hit the sack even if there's no school tommorrow! hehe. retests coming up and i've gotta ace them! plus i'm dying to finally make my skirt! heh.

oh! to whoever's reading this, please click my nuffnang ads on the side bar over there <----- thank you very much! help me clear my debts and get a christmas present for Duffy! hehe

okay goodnight whoever!


xoxo
it's complicated. 

Like Woah

don't you hate the moments inbetween waiting to prepare to go out? fighting the drowsiness. FIGHT IT JOH! can't afford to be late. literally and not.

this sucks.

update soon (: gotta think of what to wear. day to night outfit for today, and the last time i wore a clubbing outfit to school, i got bitched about by three bitches in the toilet.

Jass: eh Johanna you know those three bitches in the toilet right?
Me: ya why?
Jass: they were bitching about you leh!
Me: what they say? confirm say my outfit too short blabla one lah.
Jass: ya! they were saying why that girl wear until so short, she think she going club ah?
Me: but i am going to club what! (Cyn's birthday)
Jass: exactly!

sighs in exasperation. you can't fucking expect me to wear a maxi dress or something when i'm so bloody short right? and when school ends in the evening, it's hard to go home and change up when you stay bloody far away and preparation time takes more than an hour.

tsk girls. (HAHA)


what i need is a pokeball.

x

totally, and utterly confused. 

15 minutes to spare before getting up to rush to go to school.

i'm so hungry but i know i shouldn't eat anymore.

i'm torn.

'19th

so, november 26 was a special day = Baby neo's birthday! met her for a simple dinner + cake, then we headed to rebel to party the night away! heh.

hope you enjoyed that night, and that you love the present! (i know you did la huh!) hee.

took polaroids!

 

 

headed to Rebel after. managed to get in without much hassle which was really good. saw this cute korean dude who totally didn't look korean. felt quite annoyed at him till he accidentally spouted some korean terms and i was like 'OMG HE'S KOREAN!' hahahahaha biased shit. 

photos from Bec's facebook! 

 

my pretty pretty girls! hahahahaha. pretty much had a blast at rebel, tho i was kinda grumpy at the same time (contradicting much?) 

photo from Cyn's blog. the ukelele Bec and i gave her! heehee. 

anyway, all in all, hope you really enjoyed it, and happy birthday once again! (tho 3 days have passed since.) i love you baby! <3

xoxo

my world is crashing as i type. he used to be my world. now i don't know what i live in anymore.

i'm sad. i'm blue. i don't know what to say. i'm not okay.

fucking sick shit. so all that you did was okay? disappearing and coming up with stupid lame shit excuses the next day. you really expect me to forgive you.

my being late is one thing. you going to drink and fucking being unapologetic about it is another thing. what the fuck is this? what happened to 'i will accept you for who you are' 'baby i wanna change' 'i don't wanna lose you' blablablablabla. HOW MANY TIMES ALREADY?!?!?!??!?!

fuck this. so fucking angry. 

I miss everything about you

photos from the day Yw and i went to study. reached like, two hours late? HAHA. oh yeah, this was when my phone line was still cut off. had dinner and caught due date after! and i actually fell asleep at the mac at Heeren while waiting for the movie to start. ooooopppppz! hahahahaha.

decided to just post the photos in my com up (:

anyway,. i had a really bad day today. ultimate display of bad luck so far. okay, maybe not the ultimate. but i wouldn't wish for anymore. -.-

will not elaborate more, except to complain that i really do want a new laptop, tho i love my current one to bits. (over said)

ended the day with a steamboat @Chinatown with the girls from NYP! (Cyn, Bec, Angie, Shiling and Jinjing!)  it's been super super long since we all met up at oince? for me at least. hehehe i luv em! and it feels so so good to finally be out with alllll girls for once. didn't go for our K session after, but it's been rescheduled to monday instead. (;

Bec's place for mani/pedi after she celebrated her mum's birthday, and so i guess it's alls well that ends well?

dinner tomorrow with Maomao and Mel i think? hehe shoooo happy!

<3

photos up real soon. i've got truckloads of photos! tho i didn't take many with the girls today on account that i got held up in school past the dismissal time. hurgggg f my com ): sigh. tho i can't blame him.

alright, got to head to bed on account that we have another 6 hour school day ahead of us, tho i'd bet that it's nothing compared to some others. pssssh. alright! goodnight whoever's reading! (or good morning, whichever you might prefer.)

oh! and click my ads while you're at it if you happen to see any? HAHA thank you! <:


xoxo 
but i never told you