one night, one day

"blurring the lines; yours and mine. "

sadddd.

okay i typed that word out by accident, but it fits soooooo, okay shut up. hoho.

anyway, it's 4.25 and i'm still up! been thinking of stuff to do to fill out my days, like meaningful stuff to better myself. LOL.

hmszxzxzx. there's some article thing on DIY-ing for mother's day. and i guess i have some idea on what to do for it. (:

soooo, things are in the 'it'scomplicated' status now. should get around to straightening things out, like what my darling said. got to be a proper status, or none at all.

or maybe not..... evil smile *

ew i miss my eyelash extensions cause they make me look so much better without make up. horrrrrrible i have too much testosterone, probably. need more of the female essence thingy and i bet SO many others will agree. LOL

urg i want a new camera! shall go sneak into mum's room and steal her pink one . MUWAHAHAHA. -..-

i want meetups sooooooon! meeting bec for lunch/dinner whatever, at her work place like soooon, and cynthia neo too! oh Godddddd i miss them!

and i so totally want back my dyed hair. apparently the black dye is no match for my ex-colored different shades of different brown bla hair, cause there's some kind of brown filtering through the black, which is totally annoying.

shall go dye it soon, but i have no idea if my hair/scalp can take it. it's like super dry already, and i need to go on a "no salt!!!!!" diet, cause it's unhealthy, and i have to sleep more. -..-

urggggggg. wish i could snap my fingers and..... okay this is crap.

am still feeling really sleepy even though i slept from 6 pm till 10 am? and from 5 pm plus to 1 am the next day. -..- like i was up and about for a few hours only.

oh and i survived on 15 dollars for the last week . like totally amazing luh! gasps* I NEED MONEY! and bec mentioned something about a job, and i guess i'm going to work with her!(: yayyy, and working at an IT fair on the 11th to 15th, most probably.

and baka john is insulting my dota skills, and saying that i am noob. assssssssss. hahaha

dreadfully tired, so i guess i'm heading for some aimless surfing around and chatting, till i get some shut eye and i'm going to meet the big head tomorrow i guess? ho hum. (: though we've broken up yet again. -..-

but this time it's my fault lah. rah. ):

LOL okay shut up.

kay here are some photos of the valentine's dinner we had. (darren huiying, big head & me) super nice!

drunken prawns in xo


seafood egg thing?


darren's live oysters that cost five bucks each. (his hand was already grabbing it, and i had to literally go "DARREN WAIT!", in order to take the picture -..-)


butter crab!


apparently that place is reaaaaallly famous or something, but i didn't hear of it before -..- have no idea why i'm always totally unaware of food stuffs. yummy lah! the meal came to only about $127 or something, which is really quite cheap eh. ate till we were really stuffed can!

alright, off.



xoxo
yours to mine. (heart/lips)


ps: i don't want anyone else.

before he cheats

fuck it. days and days of pondering over approaches. heck, weeks, months even. and every trail leads to a dead end, a possible rebuke, or perhaps a "why bother?". and it's my fault. mine. too many, too many of what should be said, left unsaid. too many of what should be left unsaid; said. i should know. 24/7 always, to infinity and beyond.






(yes, it's a big blank space.)









and i hate cheating. emotionally or otherwise.

sunshine, bitter hearts

"i should love you"

okay, so i learned the knack of putting my font back to normal after i do the header thingy in every post -..- okay i know it's eaaaasssssyyyyy, but LOL aiya whateverrrrrr lah kay. hahaha

anyhoooo, big head, darren and shawn are over at my place. the kid has escaped againnnnnnnnn! hurhur.

and here are some photos from drinkers. mabel asked me for them and told me to hurrrry.

gah, my internet connection is like crap since we changed to singtel instead of starhub ): but on the bright side, mio tv has lots of movies to rent; good for boring rainy days when i can't be arsed to get out of my house to see some people. (:

watched 'what happens in vegas' and 'the house bunny', two movies i've been wanting to watch since foreverrrrrrrrr. hurhur. and they were nice! as expected. love those chick flicks; inspirational, and best yet they don't require any brain cells.

bored bored bored. some issues are coming up again. screams and runs away * LOL. alright i have no idea what's wrong, but ..... urg where's the love man? . alright shut up.

okay here they are:

mabel & MINGKANG


mabel & john


samseng & mimi


royston, wendy, huiying, mabel, august, mingkang & john


awwwright now. i think it's really time for a diet. and singapore is a fucking fucking boring place!

wish i still had my gym membership ): cause i can't be bothered to go runningggggggggggg. i want to go fishing, though i'll bet i'll get super grossed out.

and and and. i think we're watching 'slumdog millionaire" tomorrow! (: pictures shall be taken tomorrow then (:

ah. but seriously, no sparkage = zzzzz. get what i mean?

alright shut up.



xoxo
heart breaker, oh you heart wrecker.

ps: i want to talk to you again. (:

seven forty eight in the morning

"to prove i survived the night"

so, that was a picture taken at sebas's place, or rather his playground, the night after..... never thought i'd be that glad to see sunrise, cause ho hum, then it's another day.

however, i dread dawn breaking now, because it'll then be another day closer to bighead's enlistment ):

and i simply hate pulling all-nighters for nothing, just to tire myself out so that i'll be able to sleep somehow, though it's usually at a very abnormal and unhealthy time; in the bloody morning, where everyone is up and awake doing stuff and i only wake up in the late afternoon without enough sleeping and forcing myself to wake up and get out of the house else i'll be stuck at home for the whole day. ):

typing blind now, cause i've finally taken out my contacts. oh yes, the itchy handed me went to remove my eyelash extensions too! BY MYSELF; resulting in very bald places where my eyelashes are supposed to be.

and karen was comforting me about it -..- but what the fuck it hurt like ..... all swollen and red like eewwwww, and now my eyes are like - ________ -, because of the fact that i didn't sleep much and no eyelash extensions/ au natural. (sp?)

and big head was like "see, this will teach you not to put fake stuff" okay lor. and he tried helping me to remove the extensions by rubbing the cotton pad filled with the eyemakeup remover, and he was damn not gentle lah! though i bet he tried his best to be already. -..-

didn't do much these few days. lazed around, ate and ate and ate/ fighting a losing battle. FUCK i feel like eating sushi. OKAY plaza later (: yummy yumm yummmmmmmmmszxzxzxzx -..-

okay SOME, photos up of wendy's chalet. since i had nothing to do in the past half an hour, i went to do some simple editing to make them look much much nicer (:

ohhhhh and maybe a nice foot massage with my mum. (did i mention i absolutely adoreeeee foot massages?)

and my photos are not uploading! damnnnnnnn. hate the internet connection after my parents changed to singtel's package thing with the mio tv crud. everything uploads/downloads/loads super super super super slowly!

okay the photos are here! :

Big Head & Fat Boy (they think they very cute)


Mabel & Wendy


Hongguo & Yilin


Mabel & John


alright doneeeeeeee. not much, but yeah my camera died on me, and those cheapo batteries i bought were absolute crap. this shall teach me not to buy suspiciously cheap stuff, except for maybe the tissues that john introduced me to. LOL he's a bigger aunty then i am!

bugger shitbag is still MIA-ing. wonder where the hell he is, cause I AM BORED, and no one is awake at this time. ):

okay off i go to do something important; EAT. fucking hungry. BUT OH MY FAT FAT FATS!



xoxo,
woke up next to you

ps: i'll be good.

pps: some weird person is talking to me on garena, asking for help for configuration. think he/she is porteguese or something. bad luck dude i'm a fucking garena/dota idiot.

ppps: and i was like, "configuration?" and he was like "yes, i no speak inguish, oh tank." what the fuck i can barely understand him. okay sorry crankkyyyy

make out of yours

"carry on like nothing's wrong"

soooooooo, it's been a few days, and yes i've not edited any photos hahaha lazy bum kay shut up

:D

wellllll, news is we're back together, but how long that's going to be for i have no idea. =/ we'll see how it goes aye? yesterday was fullllll of weird ups and downs, as the last few days was.

anyway, here's me with black hair! all mirror shots, cause i haven't uploaded the photos from my phone into my laptop.




weelllllllll, that's it so far! nothing much to talk about cause i've got go get get get get get going with the article writing! wish me all the best luck asswipes!


xoxo,
what's your name, love?

ps: (: i'm gladdddddd that ______.

swear to keep

"a toast, an ovation, to love and merry men."



whassup whassssuuuuuppppppppppppp! -..-

anyway, i survived! round of applause please*

that was a picture from play, ages ago. last year i think? wellllll i miss partying! okay well i don't really miss it, but i miss getting out and having a damn good time like i should be.

well so last night was full of computers, dota-ing, falling asleep in uncomfortable positions; but i'm so glad i have nice friends around me. (:

not forgetting all the ones out there whom i love; thanks for still wanting to be there even though we don't contact often enough. :D

and what they did i'll never forget<3 cause small actions speak fucking fucking loudly.

OH YES! anywayyyyyyyyy, i played the FIRST full game of dota in my whole entire life! played against sebas, darren, the guy who tended the shop, alvin. have no idea if there's another person. i think i totally pulled my team mates down lah LOL, but the guy sitting next to me was nice enough to keep telling me what to do and blocking the idiots who kept trying to kill me (: haha!

and darren that ass kept killing me. and apparently i wasn't allowed to kill him back cause when i went for revenge and started to aim at him, he chased after me and killed my hero. ): and then he laughed maniacally, like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" with added knobs on. -..-

headed to sebas's where we slept and slept. then caught a cab home. like oh my God the traffic was horrible. cars everywhereeeeeee.

am staying at home about to peacefully spend the night, and hopefully there won't be any _____.

perhaps i'll be brave later. like seriously brave. and.....




(first row- liangjie, mingkang, john second row - royston, darren, hongguo, august)

photos from wendy's chalet and drinkers up soon! (:



bye fuckers;


xoxo
your words/my lips/ your heart/ mine.


ps: i didn't mean the "a little". i meant "a lot." but i guess you don't, and it's not very okay with me.

like you'll never see me again

"of my heart, of yours. "

history repeated itself again. (:

and now we're just sitting here wondering where to go from here, or rather i'd be doing that, and all those mental answers will come rushing over and over, yet going unaccepted.

what's good for me, what's good for him. clearest, is the logic that perhaps we'd be better off away from each other, but harder yet, the doing.

this time it might be final, no matter how hard it's going to be; i'll get by, and it'll get better.

it mightn't be final, but changes do have to be made.

for now, it's the wonder of how long taking initiative will hold.

assurances of that part are something, and i know that he does mean it in a way, but humans are so unpredictable, but to that i'll only be able to hold to blind faith.

no regrets are to be made, only a wistful 'if only' remains, but that too isn't any use.

and yes, i'll think it through. i know it's a good chance to, to grow up, perhaps. and yet all along it was a part i'd play, like all the parts i'd thought one should play in a relationship. perhaps all along i've thought in terms that were better off when we weren't attached, perhaps perhaps perhaps.

but that's a song for lovers, aye?

(:


i'll miss you dreadfully, but we shall both see. for you, for me.


xoxo,
as you like it.


ps: (: no matter what. no matter what. i'll still hug it and pretend i'm hugging the one who gave it to me. no matter what, no matter what, these memories are mine to keep. mine, and mine alone. just like everything we shared is yours, and yours alone.

swept off her feet

"a kiss is a lovely trick"

did i mention that my hair is black now? big grin*

even though almost everyone else says that it looks weird i don't really mind, cause it has sort of been something i wanted to do for awhile now. alright perhaps one week or a few weeks or so? hurhurrrrrr

i think there's something wrong with blogger and uploading images.

mummy bought me a sewing machine a few days back, and i stole one of my dads big ass shirts to DIY something (: more successful now that i actually have a machine to do the sewing instead of me having to sew by hand and giving up cause it takes fucking long..... =/

haven't slept yet, and my snoozing hours are more erratic than ever, wonder why since i've been planting my arse at home recently. guess i'm sick of sleeping, and my mum has got me on a guilt trip on account of all the things she bought for me recently (imustnotbebribed!) just kidding .

on the other hand the weird dreams i've been having lately are enough to put me off sleeping. i swear everytime i drift off there's another totally irrational dream that bothers me throughout my whole sleeping process. wanted to wake big head up just now cause i had a fucking scary dream and it was raining like no-one's business but fuck it he just continued sleeping after hearing me whine about it.

want want want want want to watch the curious case of benjamin button since cyn and i saw the trailer while we were watching 'bedtime stories'. am supposedly meeting my supposed boyfriend but i suppose he's MIA-ing because of his supposed rendevous with liangjie's computer. rolls eyes extremely forcefully*

it's just a test to see when it'll snap.

v-day is coming, more like d-day. honestly it's just a day. it's nice to be able to express how you care for your s/o but isn't that supposed to be done everyday, regardless? oh well. got to get some shut eye; i think the sandman is literally chucking truckloads of his sand dust into my eyes -..- okay shut uppppppp.

aw i miss scv.



xoxo
meet you halfway

ps: if we ever get to talk.....

greater greatest great

headache ah headache headache headache headache headache
eyes that are blinded with a pounding that's making everything ache.

i just want a pillow and a place to sleep with a nice blankie. home maybe?

crabs for dinner and drunken prawn accompanied by nice company and greater veggies.

the world is too nice atm. too nice.



(:

without remembering you

"i love you like a fat kid loves cake"

got that from a b ooooook! like one of my all time favourites, though it's not one of those super thick and really bookish kinds.

God that reminds me. i've not read a new book for ageeeeees. except for the twilight series, but that's gotten stale, too quickly since i've read and re-read them over and over and over and over again. =/

i'm at park lane now, and i'm using the comp while waiting for them (darren big head jerold) to finish playing dota, but i doubt that will be anytime soon.

the keyboard is being a bitch cause it's super tough, like it's damn hard to type, and my fingers feel all achey. ))))): whines*

hmmmmmmm. pictures are in my camera, which is kinda d e a d. i want a new cam! my mum has that pink slidey one ):

OH YEAH. the parents bought a mahjong table and a nice gold majong set! (like finallllllly)! been teaching my mum and sisters how to play, like the nice and kind samaritan that i am.

-..- i want to shop! and i want to work. apparently that job offer from hy is for working at OCC. at either yishun or sembawang! hurhur. i won't mind yishun cause maybe i'll get to see cyn! <3

v-day is coming, and i have no idea what to get him. LOL. okay perhaps i do have a rough idea, but..... moolahs yo!

shall keep it a secret here in case he reads it :D

hmmmm. showed bighead celeste chen's blog and he was like "she'sveryuglyleh"

oops.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

anywaessssszxzxzx. i'm bored! at a total loss for words regarding some issues. ><

mahjong-ed with the bitch and bryan and a friend of theirs who reminds me of miss chew. whb says meet up sooooon.

and i-don't-care tmr's the day! for my hair to be blaccccckkkkkkkkk,cause the roots are coming out and i have no more money for more re-dyings at salons, so it shall be good old DIY-ing, and hopefully b is really going to help meeeeeee.

sigh. mummy's cooking up a plan to get that perfume for me, "wait till i go without daddy, with daddy around he'll not let me buy." TEEHEE.

alright sebas is coming to parklane to meet me. say hiphip hurrrrrrayyyyy! hurhur haven't seem him since play, so yeah. :D gtg !

'tafuckettes!

xoxo

always yours.

next to nothing

"always yours"

alright, so it's after wendy's birthday chalet. there were supposed to be a lot a lot a lot of pictures, but yeah my lousy camera died on me ):

and there are some issues unsolved that arose from speculations.

i want to shop ): i want to work ):


secret? : i want to study.


as it is it's at a dead end, but no one said it'll go down easy.

pictures up soon(:

oh yeah, today, (or rather yesterday), was my daddy's birthday! admittedly we aren't really on good terms with each other atm, because of school issues and uh, life issues, i still love him bery bery much.

i know he loves me too, though i exasperate him to no end with all my bullshit, and yeah i'm saving some money to get him a nice present, so although he won't see this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! (: <3

big head and guo rui is at my house now, with john bugging me to let big head play dota. >=( hahahaha john's cute and all but eeeeee i dislike dota.

oh yeah bec's crashing at my place, and she's currently asleep on my bedsheet-less bed. i want a room like evelyns! chang i mean. hurhur.

oooh. tried on a sample of a versace perfume, and it had exactly the scent i was looking for! shall get it soooooon. forgot the name of it though.

going to work with huiying at i-have-no-idea-where, but angie has her birthday chalet on the same day. dilemmmaaaaaaaaaa. it's making my head pound even even even even even even more.


kay off to do something that's not blogging. (:


xoxo
sinfully, lovingly, sincerely yours.

ps: liangjie snores rhythmically!