cyn says: can you blog about something that is more optimistic?!

me: what!!!! have what!

cyn: *proceeds to read other entries*

27 november : mood pessimistic
26 november : mood sad
25 november : obviously pessimistic

me: OKAY LA.

LOL. i think i'm super pessimistic and dissatisfied with my life. or maybe i'm not content with the way things are right now.

okay i am, but i think i whine too much. oh well.


k i am going to change my blog url. ta ta delicatelikethunder@bs.com!

what's all this talk about love and all those love quotes about forever or about loving someone?

frankly i'm sick of all these bullshit. you love someone else just to make yourself feel whole. the whole thing is just a fucking cycle cause no one can ever be alone without feeling like something's missing.

i am feeling way too cynical for my own good, these days.

miserable without you.

:'(

best friends.

i'm hard to please, a little crazy at times, and emotional frenzies take me to another out-of-control level altogether, all too frequently. my first reaction to affection would be in-born sarcasm and i have difficulty showing or controlling how i really feel at times. i don't respond well to critics, no matter how well meaning they were meant, and i am overly blunt to the core at times. i find that i have no discipline, and i can't stick to what i say simply because i lose the determination to. i am way too fickle minded, even when it comes to the simplest of decisions. i am not pretty or lovable, not sweet or apt to do thoughtful things.

all i have, are words and simple gestures to show you that i truly care.

this goes out to all the people who have been with me through the years, through my changes, be it good or bad, through my worst times, and through my happiest moments. thank you for standing by my side throughout, and thank you for being there even though i've never deserved anything. i'll never know what's going to happen in one year, five, or even ten. but i just hope that you'd all know how much you guys mean to me, and know that i'm truly grateful to have each and every one of you to fall back on. and the same goes out for you. i'll be there, no matter what.

and even though i don't show it, you still mean one of the most to me. but over time i've realized that you were right. it's pointless to act like we still have something when perhaps the will to try again doesn't resonate as strongly as before mainly because of all the failed attempts. or perhaps they wouldn't be failures if we didn't let it. but it's hard to say anything, to show anything. you'd understand if you were me, if you wanted to. too many words and the weariest of them all: i miss you, i love you.


this isn't the end.



no, nothing happened. i just felt like saying something; scoff at it all you want. it doesn't matter.


///////


xoxo
baby, we're keeping it together. somehow.
sweetest of words, bitterest of hearts.

hi friend!

i feel so fat. and hopeless. i don't know why my stomach is so fucking bloated.

I AM NOT PREGNANT.

i just feel grumpy and fucked up that i'm fat fat.

))))):

on the phone with John now. he finally wants to talk to me. LOL. fucker sial. tmd smned! LOL. and he called me up suddenly. HAHA.

talking about stuff in the past. and it's damn funny!!!!! HAHA.

but at the point of time we'd be so totally O.M.G.O.M.G.

LOL.

kay shall go do something constructive. byebye:D


xoxo
true to your love.


ps: :D

hi, i feel quite distant from society at the moment.

went for some mahjong action at Aldrin's place after a movie at AMK Hub with A's mum and sister.

Huishan and i prepared a super delicious lunch for them. HAHA. :D

okay off to do whatever. goodnight.

20/11

"full circle, and then some."

i know i'm a few hours late, but still, better late than never right?

anyway, i know i said a few photos, but i honestly can't quite be bothered to dig them up.

okay okay this is spoiling the mood.

anyway, it was our eleventh three hours before, and there were constant reminders about how hard it was for us to get back together.

both of us made a lot of mistakes, and we both learned a lot about each other, and what it takes to save a relationship, or what to do to break one.

there was a point in time where i'd honestly, put you down and start to move on with my life, but somehow our paths brought us back, full circle. at first i was really hesitant of even walking down this again, of getting myself entangled in something that spells disaster all over.

but i guess you've proved to me that some things do change, and i've proved that some things never do.

i'm not gonna say things about how perfect we are for each other, cause we're not. we irk each other to no end, and we've been having the stupidest quarrels these few days, which only end when we can't quite keep up being angry at each other.

somehow at the end of the day, you make me forget why i even got mad in the first place, no matter how pissed off i was.

however, all in all. i do think that we are worth another shot, that's why i took that step. it's not going to be easy at all, we've a lot of issues left to work out and work through, but i guess that's part and parcel of every relationship?

we're very different people, and we're always disagreeing, but somehow we manage to get along, manage to talk about stuff, manage to be better than ever. and i guess it counts for something right?

i do hope you'll never stop being good to me, no matter how much i piss you off, or no matter how many times i do things that make you angry. and i hope that you know that i always say and do things on impulse, cause that's the way i am. but i'll try to rein that in, and stop flaring up at you when i get irritated.

we aren't perfect, and we're both stubborn as hell. i really wonder how long we're going to last before we try to kill each other, but even if i do kill you, i want you to know that i love you. <3

and i want to thank you for doing stuff for me, for meeting my friends though you'd rather not in the beginning, for wanting to please my parents (even though you blamed me when you explained to my mum about our quarrel), for attempting to be thoughtful and succeeding many times, and many many more.

okay, enough of the sappy stuff. you better treat me good okay, and remember everything we agreed upon. i love how you've taught me so much about myself, and how you've changed so so much.

i love you A. happy 11th.


xoxo
choices

ps: see you tomorrow!

pps: credits to K for the then/than spellings.

time after time

"love like this"

so, it's 6:17 am, and the reason this is unusual, is because i am awake at this hour, and this is because i WOKE UP instead of me not sleeping yet, which would be the usual case.

today's the 20th, and the reason i am mentioning this date, is because today marks the 11th anniversary of my relationship with A! which kinda sucks in another way cause it could've been our 13th/one year one month. oh well. he's an ass. HAHA.

anyway, i'm planning to do some nice and thoughtful dedication thing on my blog, but i'm at his place where i don't have any of our pictures save for one or two(note to self:SEND HIM MORE PICTURES!) and i can't really think of much to say now (EARLY HOURS!!!!!)

so..... i will be back. (mwahahahahahaha/evil laughter*) okay lame. HAHA.

got to wake him up at approximately 3 minutes, and God since when did my posts almost all start to be about him? BAD BAD BAD.

by the way, Cyn told me about 'Paranormal Activity' yesterday, and i fucking woke up at 4:57 am and couldn't get back to sleep. her voice was literally in my head, narrating the whole story over again. fucking creepy!!!!! kept imagining weird stuff which is totally BAD.

oh yeah, speaking of movies, that fucker (in the most affectionate way possible) and i kept arguing for the whole day yesterday. i think the fortune teller was right, i do have a bad temper. but the thing about me is that i get soft hearted too easily, though i do keep my stand.

we kept raising our voices at each other and arguing our own points. him about my going to school and my attitude, and me going on about him being ridiculous and irritating.

but i guess one thing that really changed is the way we can't stay mad at each other. sounds sickeningly sweet but it's true. i guess it's something about my face being too cute, and his being too amusing.

:D

anyway we made up, and it was kinda awkward cause my mum heard us quarreling (me shouting at him over the phone) , and i think she got quite annoyed so she shouted "HAO BU RONG YI ZAI YI QI ZUO MO YAO WEI LE XIAO SHI CHAO JIA?!' (it was hard enough getting back together, why fight over little things?!) and at his place we couldn't keep up the cold war act on account of his family being present.

and afterwards i found out that he texted my mum and blamed the fight all on me. WTH!!!!! when it's totally not all my fault lor. MUMMY IF YOU SEE THIS IT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT OKAY! later my own mother side A how sial. i'll totally be damn fucked up.

it's funny cause we're damn pissed at each other, and yet we don't wanna fight, but at the same time we don't wanna give in. fucked up though.

kk got to wake him up. edited post coming up later though.

if you read through this whole post word for word, then good job. :D but i doubt anyone would? except for close friends. hehe

and if you read through this whole post word for word and i made you laugh, then good job me. :D

okay got to go. byeeeeeee.


xoxo
hold your breath.

ps: happy eleventh, love.

hey brittany

was webcamming with Huishan! and she said i can't post ugly photos of her up.

look at Mingkang in the background!

which reminds me: i want a new laptop!!!!! with a webcam. shiiiiiiit! HAHA.

went to sing cheap karaoke at Katong with Sam, Cyn and August. surprisingly enough it turned out okay. at least Sam and Aug got to talking and stuff.

Cyn went home after, while we went to eat, and Sam suggested fishing! so off we went to Pasir Ris.

sat there for around 4 hours. and we didn't catch any thing. LOL. aw damn! but still, not a bad experience, plus i fulfilled my goal of not getting any mosquito bites!

i had 3-4 mosquito coils lighted up in front of me, and i sprayed my legs and arms with insect repellent. kinda kua zhang sounding, but the thought of having bugs on my body irks me to no end.

have quite a few photos i haven't posted up, from Eskibar and yesterday, so shall post em up soon. :D

goodnight people!


xoxo
so where do we go?

love/hate relationship

Starting a Video Call with cynthia; ...

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cynthia; is not answering.

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RSS Steadfast , back from sailing . says:

PICK UP LA

cynthia; says:

??/

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cynthia; is not answering.

-

that's how annoying A is. HAHAHAHAHA.

you can't fight who you're with.

"when vines are tangled up in your feet,"

i am supposed to meet A for a movie + spending time together, blablablablabla tomorrow/later on, but i am still awake! and still watching bev hills 90210 at that.

i find that i get really affected by what i read/watch, so i've to be really careful about what i watch/read so that it doesn't get absorbed too much into my life and my emotions. weird huh?

so anyway, Bb is going on a little trip to the mother fucking South China Seas, and he's leaving tomorrow night! muwahahahahaha i'll miss him though there is a certain saying that goes, 'when the cat's away, the mice will play'. not over the top though, i know my limits. stop rolling your eyes!

ahhhhhrhghh i hate scenes in shows that show people who break other people up by being manipulative blablablablabla. okay and why does this sound familiar?

okay there's this scene in the show where this guy called Ethan got into an accident while on the phone with his girlfriend. he was fine la, but he knocked into this girl called okay i forgot her name. Ethan and that girl started hanging out a lot, blablablablabla, some sort cause he felt guilty and stuff, and felt like he had more in common with that girl? like more things to talk about.

anyway, that girl is exactly those types i'd hate hate hate hate hate on sight. like what the fuck she kept acting all weak, and gentle and helpless. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK LA. talking in those super soft voices and relating bad experiences that make people go 'awwwwww' or ke lian her.

wtf i don't know how his girlfriend could stand it la! like if it's me i'd be totally 'fuck off already la!' and display my manliness or show her who's boss by insist on spending time with my boyfriend while he has to take care of her.

i think there were a lot of times where i totally wanted to slap some girls that i saw revolving around A. like seriously, i think i'm the super possessive sort, and i get jealous really easily. and it wasn't even their fault lor, i'm just an ass. i hate guys by the way.

but for the record, if there're such girls around him, like the cunning and manipulative bitches kind who wanna steal him away (confirm don't have one la. HAHAHAHA okay shut up) i totally won't play nice. and he won't get a nice ending either, if he even entertains them. i'm thinking..... castration and something involving boiling hot oil and cigarettes.

like seriously i hate those sneaky kind of fuckers who do all those planning stuff. (though i love Blair Waldorf) and i hate liars. h8 em to the core.

LOL okay random much.

i wanna go to that cheap k place that Sam mentioned about!!!!! i will not miss out anymore.

oh well, should get some shut eye. B's coming over to wake me up instead of me going over to wake HIM up. nice change, that. :D

goodnight people!


xoxo
lucky lovers.

ps: i miss you. every, single day.

medal of honor

"the bravest of the brave"

back from meeting Cyn and Isaac and some of his friends! the initial plan was to go catch a movie, but yeah too late for that, and we ended up heading to Eskibar to drink.

was dared to go talk to people from the next table and ask them to get us mixers, and yay gentlemen they were cause i didn't get rejected! haha

and yes Singapore is a fucking small place, cause turns out that they know A! we all got to talking after Eskibar closed for the night, and someone mentioned that they were from navy, and i called B and turns out they all know each other and are even from the same batch!

seriously they were like O.O OMG. YOU'RE AUGUST'S GIRLFRIEND??!! and someone was saying that we were super different and stuff like that. oh wellz.

even saw them at Tampines Mall once; Sg is really small! and it was super coincidental. but it's nice to FINALLY meet some of his campmates, apart from random people. even though i met them without him -.- HAHA. power to me! (and Cyn)

i think i'm super bad at names, can't remember much of them.

got into another tiff with B, about freedom issues once again. he doesn't like me to go club and drink (go out at night) and stuff like that, and i'm finding it difficult to give up my freedom.

so, ultimatum issued, all or nothing. i've no idea what to do. ya la i know. attached already cannot go out with other guys right!!!!! but seriously it doesn't matter to me whether there's a pussy or a dick down south. just friends right??

fucking irritating. and it's making my already aching head wanna explode; lousy alcohol tolerance = me nursing a hangover. swear the alcohol runs damn fast around my body. = good blood circulation?????

okay long enough post. i shall post up photos asap! though i look fugly in almost every one of them. oh wellz. doesn't matter.

k shall text Bb a long sweet message and hopefully he'll stop being mad at me like srsly. COMPROMISE!!!!! not me giving in entirely and not him giving in all the way either.

COMPROMISE!!!!! -.-

kthxnight!


xoxo
sweetheart.

dearest,

i've always thought that maybe, just maybe. he didn't matter as much as before, and it's true in more ways than one.

it's been easier than most times to just shut myself away into my head, and refuse to speak just because i got mad about certain issues that i deemed way too hard to get him to understand.

like what happened last night, just because it happened a few months back doesn't mean that it doesn't matter now, or that i shouldn't have went on an emotional frenzy like what i did. it doesn't make up for the fact that you're a changed person now, and it had nothing to do with trust.

granted, it might have been a small issue, but it was only seemingly diminished in size because of how long ago it all was. likewise, nothing can make up for the fact that this is something i'd remember and take to heart; to guard myself with at every point.

but perhaps a relationship should mean more than that. it was so easy to just call it quits; the words were nearly out of my mouth. however somehow they stopped short, on the tip of my tongue. perhaps our relationship means more to me now than ever before, and to you too.

cause it stopped me from walking out that door, and i think it made you realize many things about me, and about the dynamics of our relationship.

somehow after all these months, the foundation has become more solid, much stronger than before. we've come to understand each other, and we're getting to know each other more and more each day, as friends, as lovers.

today marks the first day of his sailing, a solid week of his absence from my side. perhaps i've grown too used, again to his presence near mine. to be honest i miss him already, and it sickens me somewhere deep down. strangely enough however, that same disgust is something i gather strength from, but i can't understand that contradiction fully, not yet at least.

my emotions still seem to be hidden away in the pit that i've dug and covered up with solid mind cement. cracks are coming through though, i feel them at times, strong feelings that make me want to cry and scream at the same time.

it's funny how you can interpret chunks of text differently, depending on what you're going through. we all could take a little something from everything if we wanted to, and i'm gonna milk this experience for all it's worth.

all or nothing? i keep coming back to you, love. and i do, despite everything; love you, i mean.


xoxo
faith.

bored

hi, i am in a state of extreme irritation right now. like the past few days, my mood has been fluctuating between spates of contentment, and intense irritation.

i hate that i could be out singing cheap karaoke at kallang, and instead i am stuck home, using the computer. fucking annoying!!!!! and i can't even begin to explain why i have that need to head out every single night.

seriously why can't i have my cake and eat it too? like for example, have a boyfriend and still be able to go out with my other friends?

i wish i had super powers, like levitation or something, so i can just stare at stuff and they will move to where it belongs. seriously, if i could do that, my room will be as neat as anything. CONFIRM. cause i'm always visualizing where everything should go, and yet i can't seem to move my ass to clear stuff up. >=[

having a migraine now. sucks!

ah gong's birthday on saturday, and A's going off on the weekends to sail. and for the whole of next week too.

friends say that i sound happy whenever i mention the fact that he's going to be away for quite a few months next year onboard his navy ship. LOLLOL. but i'm really quite neutral about it. think i'll miss him a lot. LOL okay i sound like such an ass, i know.

i'm just being grumpy and all cause i can't go out. RAH. irritated ttm.

k. photos can't be uploaded. be back later on perhaps?



xoxo

edited:

proof that i really did go to school.



from the 11th while having a family dinner for the twin's birthday.

















and Binghui and i! i've no idea why i always turn out to be the one looking like the ghost when the flash is on. hate my hair. fuck it when is it gonna grow long??!?!?!?!!!!!!

been thinking of curling it though.






effing full. mac's fries for supper = unhealthy + fattening. oh my God.....

anyway, i found out that my mum does read my blog as i've suspected. and she requests that i use lesser vulgarities blablablablabla.

oh well. this is my space to rant though, so we shall have to see about that.

kay have to wake up by ten. fingers crossed that i can wake up and not let exhaustion get the better of me! DETERMINATION AND DISCIPLINE PLEASE!!!!!


xx.

happy birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWINNIES! thank you for always helping me wash the stuff, hang clothes blablablablabla. and treating me like the elder sister i am, though sometimes i really act like i'm the youngest in the family. :D i luv you two idiots, though you'll never see this.oh welllllllz.

no photos till i feel like taking some. must.go.on.diet.now!!!!! but there's a family dinner later on. HOW. omg.

heartbreak really is the best way to stop eating. how ah. ????? i wanna exercise i can't stand all these fucking fats i keep eating non stop i swear. omg.

fuck this. i hate feeling fat i fucking hate it but i eat on the spur of the moment without thinking of consequences. JOHANNA TEO GROW SOME DETERMINATION CELLS PLEASE!!!!!

never again.

i'm so angry i can't even find the words to express how angry i am right now.

oh and it's mixed with disappointment and hurt.

like what i told Huishan, i really don't feel like being reasonable now.

maybe the Johanna of the past would be saying sorry, promising not to do it again, blablablablabla.

but i'm not the girl in the past. not the one who will bend over backwards just to get him not to leave me. not the one who'll change everything just to become closer to his idea of a perfect relationship.

if it's anyone leaving, i'll be the one who walks first.

trust. HAH!

asses

J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:49 PM):
*Too nice.
Different.
Very hard worker.
Wise.

*which one is me
cynthia; says (11:50 PM):
*too nice
*different
*either 1
J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:50 PM):
*hmm which one is me more
*more me *
cynthia; says (11:50 PM):
*vhw
*no
*wise.
*=.=
*LOL
*not wise
*smart maybe
J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:50 PM):
*LOL DECIDE
cynthia; says (11:50 PM):
*definitely not wise
J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:50 PM):
*Too nice.
Different.
Very hard worker.
Wise.

J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:51 PM):
*-.-
cynthia; says (11:51 PM):
*totally lazy bum
*different or too nice either one
J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:51 PM):
*STAY IN THE OPTIONS!!!!!


----

J, delicatelikethunder.blogspot.com says (11:50 PM):
*Too nice.
Different.
Very hard worker.
Wise.

*which one am i
BOTAK SAM 吉祥物 says (11:51 PM):
*hahaha
*hmmm
*wise
*wait
*different
*hahaha
*u are not wise
*=x


wthhhhhhhhh! i am so totally wise okay!

need.to.tidy.my.room. fucking annoying btw, went to school and there was no school. .....
bye!


xoxo

ps: seven days, one and a half months, four to five months. the road is long my dear. will absence really make the heart grow fonder or would it just prove the fact that out of sight = out of mind?

talking and obsessing

"waving the white flag"

mahjong later at A's place with his campmate and Cyn. feeling super sleepy and weak after that wave of nausea last night in the cab.

fuck super weird though, almost the whole stretch of my spine area started aching like mad, then i felt like puking.

anyway, went on this sudden and random trip to D's place with A. M was there too. been quite some time, to say the least.

left after a few hours to go home to rest after.

A was pissed off at me yesterday. played that blinking game where the person who blinks first loses, and he cheated. he blew into my eyes and of course i blinked, then i've no idea why, but my hand went up and slapped his face. like some reflex action thing.

he was like quite pissed already but didn't really show cause quite funny what, then a few hours later at D's place he said something la i forgot what. then i took the strip of mentos i had and threw it at him.

normally i can't aim very well and all, but i've no idea why i was so accurate yesterday and the mentos hit his big head. LOL maybe surface area bigger that's why. yeah then he was like pissed off la.

-.- then like that lor. he said 'wo bu zhi dao ni jing tian tat tio shen me sai.'/'i don't know you stepped until what shit today' (super direct translation)

hehe

anyway, decided to just leave things as they are and see how it goes. won't take it too seriously, but i guess i won't take it too lightly either.

difficult to keep the balance, like balancing an egg on wire hung high in the air. that's how hard it is to keep it, without it falling off and going splat on the ground.

kk off to get ready.

HUAT AH! hahahahahahahaha kthxbye.


photos soon.


xoxo
can't keep my hands out
of the cookie jar.

ps: i'm sorry.

thinking things through.

it's all about the compromises, about changing for the better.
but what if i've changed into someone you cannot accept, and i don't wanna compromise?

what if i'm not ready, and you can't wait?

too many what if this, what if that.

fuck this i need a drink. bye.

sorry.

"true to your faith."

ast night was stupid. but alright in the end i guess?

solo-ed boat quay for nearly 5 hours with Jackie that grumpy idiot omg. initially the plan included more people, but i've no idea why in the end we were left with pathetic two.

(cause Cyn wanna stay at home do tutorial but in the end was watching naruto.>=() LOL

luckily Ruixiang joined after his work and yeah. it was better cause of more people and Jackie cheered up immensely.

there was this game that involves swords and this barrel and a toy pirate thingy, and you have to insert the swords into the holes in the barrel randomly and if you picky the lucky hole then the toy pirate will pop up and obviously you lose = must drink or something.

and yeah i found one sword in my bag. like wtf i wanted to steal the stirrer thing but instead i got the sword thing. -.- shall go back and return it someday.

i've that 'ohhhh i'm in deep shit' feeling. was not contactable from one last night till twelve plus noon today, and yeah. B's mad at me cause i'm out late blahblah. so shall keep my promise and go to school today!

though i feel sleepy and shitty and sick. but.i.must.prove.a.point!!!!!

okay off to get ready. i hope everything will be okay.


xoxo
trust.

this time round

"i'm taking back my love."

boring.

it feels like i haven't been out in ages. >=[ not properly, at least. short on cash as well fuck this sucks!

need a job, need a job. but no time, plus studying. needs needs needs needs needs. i think i have a 101 more needs than the Maslow needs thingy.

fucking hate my appetite too; it's like growing and growing and growing and growing and growing i swear. keep having to munch on stuff. PLUS i've been breaking out even more! and oh my God i just discovered cracks in my laptop.

GREAT!!!!!

watching 'Just My Luck' on the PiPi thingy, and i feel like Lindsay Lohan, just not as unlucky of course.

Daiso trip with Yutong! forced him to take photos and wear a red hat all around the store. plus he was the one pushing the cart. nice friend :D







me: this one very nice! but not good it breaks easily.
Yutong: was that a pun?

(talking about the red ceramic ashtray below)

get it get it? bet you don't, except for .....





from friday night, before we went to Powerhouse.





oh yeah some guys are just plain disgusting and irritating. and others just have lame pick up lines.

Cyn posted one example of that guy who tried to take her number, and this is the full version.the friend of that guy was like:

friend: hi, uh i saw you walking past and i think that you're very attractive.
me: uhhhh..... *glancing at Cyn and saw her being attacked by the other guy* okay thanks.
friend: i was thinking if i can get your number, maybe ask you out to lunch?
me: uhh....... *wtf wtf look at Cyn in that horrified expression and she was looking at me in the similar way*
Cyn: *stumbles over act drunk* Joh! i'm drunk!
me: okay okay *go hold her* *turns to guy* sorry ah i've to take care of my friend. she's drunk. bye!
friend: oh... okay i understand, maybe in a next life?
me: ah ya okay sure :D
weird guy who hit on Cyn: actually i'm sick!
weird guy who hit on Cyn: i'm love sick!

guy: you have very big eyes!
me: uhhh okay thank you?
guy: your eyes are very big and nice!
me: ahhh thank you (:
guy: i bet a lot of people told you that!
me: okay okay la. *how am i supposed to react?*
guy: you drink half i drink half *he hands me a glass*
me: sorry i'm allergic to alcohol. if i drink i will die.
guy: really meh?!
me: ya. i will die.
guy: i don't believe you.
me: i don't wanna prove it to you
guy: then you come here for what?
me: i come here to dance?
guy: then can you dance?
me: no i can't dance.

guy: eh drink this!
me: cannot la i'm allergic to alcohol. if i drink i will die.
guy: don't bluff la!
me: really really. i will die and i don't want to die.
guy: ya lor someone as cute and pretty as you cannot die. if you die i will have heartache *points to wrong side of chest*

-.- amongst others. fucking stupid!!!!!

ahh loads of drama the day after shan't dwell on it, since things are fine and well now. thank God!

i've no idea what i'm doing though, it's like taking the plunge into deep choppy water with a punctured life vest; totally stupid and unsafe.

ah okay, maybe going running with ______ this weekend, and meeting up with him tomorrow for dinner. frozen guo ties ftw!

i hope to meet up with my respective loves soon, especially K, Bc and Hb. been so long since i seen any of them, especially Bc!

and Hs and i should really do the budget nail painting thing for each other. LOL.

kk been long since such a damn long post. i wish xiaxue will update her blog already. (yes i like reading her blog, she's funny. though i don't agree with every thing she says.)

anyway, shall finish up my movie and off to bed i go.

:D

xoxo
baby steps

ps: you should take care of it well.

it's funny how something happens and you discover other stuff through that, both good and bad.

used to be one right could make all the wrong stuff go away, but now it seems like one wrong move can make all the rights fuck off and die.

or maybe it's just me, not wanting to get hurt again, thus i'm choosing not to believe, cause it just seems to be easier.

maybe i'd be missing out, but really, i can't trust hearts anymore. even mine.

no idea why i feel like crying.

don't.