best friends.

i'm hard to please, a little crazy at times, and emotional frenzies take me to another out-of-control level altogether, all too frequently. my first reaction to affection would be in-born sarcasm and i have difficulty showing or controlling how i really feel at times. i don't respond well to critics, no matter how well meaning they were meant, and i am overly blunt to the core at times. i find that i have no discipline, and i can't stick to what i say simply because i lose the determination to. i am way too fickle minded, even when it comes to the simplest of decisions. i am not pretty or lovable, not sweet or apt to do thoughtful things.

all i have, are words and simple gestures to show you that i truly care.

this goes out to all the people who have been with me through the years, through my changes, be it good or bad, through my worst times, and through my happiest moments. thank you for standing by my side throughout, and thank you for being there even though i've never deserved anything. i'll never know what's going to happen in one year, five, or even ten. but i just hope that you'd all know how much you guys mean to me, and know that i'm truly grateful to have each and every one of you to fall back on. and the same goes out for you. i'll be there, no matter what.

and even though i don't show it, you still mean one of the most to me. but over time i've realized that you were right. it's pointless to act like we still have something when perhaps the will to try again doesn't resonate as strongly as before mainly because of all the failed attempts. or perhaps they wouldn't be failures if we didn't let it. but it's hard to say anything, to show anything. you'd understand if you were me, if you wanted to. too many words and the weariest of them all: i miss you, i love you.


this isn't the end.



no, nothing happened. i just felt like saying something; scoff at it all you want. it doesn't matter.


///////


xoxo
baby, we're keeping it together. somehow.
sweetest of words, bitterest of hearts.