i'm still up. insomnia is still ever present, and i'm sick of it. sick of the times i feel so tired and i just fall asleep, only to wake up an hour or so later and being unable to sleep for hours on end.
read ______'s blog. though we're total strangers, i really understand how she feels. it just sounds so fucking familiar, the events that happened, how her guy treats her. if i weren't in the same situation i'd say 'forget about him. he's not worth it. love isn't only caring when you want to or feel like it. you can find someone much better'.
i think some people doesn't understand what disappointment, heartbreak and letdowns really feel like. especially not when its always coming from someone who you love, and used to love you. Used, being a term that's loosely used.
why can't people just treasure people who want to be good to them? and not take them for granted. or speak the truth and not keep others waiting.
tomorrow's the 20th. it's absurd how i'll still think about him in terms that can be considered as more than affection considering how everything is being now.
don't let things come to a point where i'll hate you, please. cause i'm already starting to despise how everything has become. perhaps i don't mean anything to you now, but remember everything that happened.
maybe it's really time to settle all that needs to be done and just leave it be. perhaps an impulsive action might be the deciding factor of everything. i've seen too much of how you can be. too much, and i don't know if i can stand to accept and not judge.
but i still hate the fact that i still miss you, still think of you. when you're..... enjoying? you'll never understand. don't erase all your worth. not when i still think there's something worth fighting for.
fuck this. i really need some sleep. but somehow i can't get to sleep without..
hearts beat the same, people hurt the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment