guilty as charged

"to take, to love and to hold."

sometimes its the simpler pleasures in life, like chatting on the phone with your best friends, or going out for a nice meal, or simply just appreciating the people around you.

humans are greedy, and can never be content, but i'd like to think that after everything, i'm still able to sit down, and just breathe. appreciating life and the people in it, even if i feel that it could be better.

maybe i'm wanting more, maybe it's cause i've seen people that could do better. maybe because it's not the life i will want.

and i'm only 18 this year. maybe i'm really a true saggitarian after all.

these thoughts are bringing the heart down heavy once again, or perhaps it's just me, being afraid or wishing something bad will happen again, simply to fulfil that twisted mindset of mine that all good things come to an end.


just put down the phone with D awhile ago, and lately though i've had some thoughts, but yeah, i sincerely thank God for my friends, and those who truly, truly care about me. i'm sorry if i'm not always there, though if i could, i'd definetely always be there when my friends need someone.

guess there were a lot of things bothering me all these whiles, but the hole seems patched back up a little.

anyway, we were talking about experiences, and i do believe that there's no such thing as too young, or too old, it's that mindset of how you go about doing things, or what you've experienced. told him lots of times, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", for always, and yes, he agrees with me too. cause there have been times where i felt like dying, thought i couldn't cry anymore, felt too tired to breathe and yet, here i am, better then the girl i used to be cause the me now can actually look back and feel good about the things that happened.

but yeah the bad thing about it is it somehow hardens me up, like another brick in that wall i used to build, till Bb came along. i really believe in the 'opening your heart to another person' theory; if you are willing to open it to someone who previously wasn't in it, then it'll be much much easier. or something, can't put it into virtual words.

and i think i'll put aside these thoughts for now, about the past, present and the future, especially the future, mainly cause it scares me, a lot .

but yeah, though sometimes i'll feel alone and all, but i do know that i have friends who will be with me even if they don't show it. like what D said. and well, i feel really, really blessed. for everything. it's not about the quantity, it's about the quality yo!

and i really thank God for each and everyone of you. love.

kay Defu Lane tomorrow with the usual people, and a movie perhaps, so yeah i intend to bring a camera, so photos up soon (:

off to do something sweet.


xoxo
cause we're too young for forever

ps: i'll see you tomorrow, and it's another step to take.