i've been confused out of my mind, lately.

"drop it like it's hot, i'd drop your heart like it's hot"

dsf

so, these few days have been nice; enjoying the single life (somewhat), and meeting up with friends freely, like friends i haven't met for A-G-E-S! Jay, for one.

went to a chalet for awhile with him yesterday, and it was nice seeing him again after so long. i meannnnnnnnnnnnn, it's really been damn long.

meanwhile, have been online shopping, and i have no idea how much i've spent already; all i know is i've finally got some great stuff on their way to my wardrobe! like bottoms, and tops, and sweaters, and and and, can't remember.

been eating and eating non stop, like mac, spaghetti, soup, noodles, blahblah. my mouth is nearly chewing 24/7!

-

these few days have got me thinking. like what Cyn said, it's a vicious cycle. over and over and over and over and over again, and in many many many many many ways, i'm really tired of it all.

not sure if it's love, or if it was in the first place, how does love fade away? so ridiculous even talking about love at this age, i mean come on la?!

but at the same time i do believe that there is love at all ages. but i think love is a gradual process, where it morphs and twists into something else, like maybe at first it was some very strong feeling, but as time goes by, it becomes a reliance, and a habit and all, where you can't imagine not having that person in your life, blahblah, and it becomes something like love?

okay have no idea if anyone is even reading this, or if it's gonna be understood. oh welllllszxzxxz.

-

and after these few days, there's some renewed determination in me to just get my fucking education and lead my dream life! like having money and all.

and to drive my dream car. AW. darren's mum's car is the extreme sex man.

love it love it love it love it love it.

want it want it want it want it want it.

and i want a nice house, nice car, nice clothes blablablablabla.

:D happy happy joy joy.


okay off to 17 again online. shan't think so much already. (:



buhbye.


xoxo
if it's the last time, baby.

ps: you think you're loving but you don't love me. and i, want to be free, baby you've hurt me.
lyrics to warwick avenue. darling in some ways i do want to be free. but somehow i'm still not walking away. yes, i do miss you, how can i not? but it's really sick. the way things are going. we'll see how it goes.