the king of my .

"the way tales unfold; once upon a time. till the end of; and they live happily ever after."

two.nineteen am, and i can't sleep.

ain't unhappy about circumstances, but it's not like i'm happy either. guess the moodswings are back with a bang! and suddenly i feel like cutting bangs. someone stop meeeee, cause i can't go into the whole 'fuck oh no what did i do to my hair again?!' situation .

not feeling up to it either.

too many things on my mind. and i'm too afraid about one thing. that ..... the heart isn't quite in it anymore. and i'm afraid that i'll find ways and means to make myself see it differently. cause i don't know myself well enough, and i don't know you too.

i guess it's the kind of things you'd repeat over and over again to yourself, just to make sure you'd not do anything you regret, and i'm the sort of person who does things on impulse.

guess perhaps i'm too afraid of going through an emotional frenzy again, to subject myself to shit. but oh we know what it'll go down as.

need to sort out my thoughts. and i sent him a message, asking why xxxxx xxxxxx. i have no idea what conclusion i want to achieve from it, and i don't want to come across as some needy shit. but aye i think being my boyfriend takes work too, sometimes.

i guess i don't really know what i want after all. the one thing i was so sure i wanted..... okay i think it's the moodswing talking. i can't be too sure.

but to be safe.

that previous sentence was the most meaningful one out of my whole post. at least to me.

once again, we'll see how things play out. read chanel's blog, and in one post her title was 'Love is a smoke and made of the fumes of sighs.' so so, true.

anyway, i'm going to go edit photos now. might be back to add 'em in.



xoxo
the heart or the mind talking.
and it's incesstantly keeping me from sleeping.

ps: to hold you too tight, stopping you from leaving my heart.

pps: i read her blog again. and i'm so afraid she's referring to you.